A
female
age
30-35,
*everagain91
writes:Dear cupid,I met my ex boyfriend when I was just 16. He was 34! I lied to him about my age and he broke it off with me because of my age. He told me to call him whn I turned 18. There was a definite spark between us and a feeling I have neer felt with anyone else. He really does care about me and always has. I didnt talk to him for 4 years! Then I looked him up last week and we talked for a few hours! He said he wished that things didnt turn out like they did between us. He also said that he had a girlfriend that he had been dating for the past year and she has 4 kids with another man. I really want him back. I never stopped loving him. And heres the twist i have gotten married and hd 1 child of my own since we dated but I dont love my husband anymore. And also my ex only lives a few miles away now. I know that this is the person God meant for me to be with. My exhas also been telling me about all the problems with his new girlfriend. About their sexlife and arguements and everything. Please help me! Please remembr how many lives this advice will affect.
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male
reader, Southernman321 +, writes (5 July 2010):
You dont leave a husband or a wife for another person ever. That is cheating. Unless your husband is treating you wrong or has really messed up what you are doing is cruel and selfish. You are married and have a child, and leaving your husband for another man is just plain wrong
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (5 July 2010):
 If you think God wants you to leave your husband for this new guy, you really ought to start going to church again.Your body built a strong pair-bond with this first man when you were with him. You were young and susceptible to it. Your brain literally addicted you to him with hormones like dopamine (you can look up how this stuff works online; I recommend Dr. Helen Fisher). What you see in him is analagous to what a junkie sees in their next fix.When you became a mother, your highest duty to God became your child. Leaving for the old guy is selfish and cruel to your child, who needs a real father.Cut off contact with the old boyfriend. In all likelihood, he only likes you because you are young and hotter than his current lover. If you were the old mother of four and she was the young mother of one, but your personalities were the same, he would leave you for her. Your husband actually likes *you*.To fix your current marriage, you first need to go cold turkey on the old boyfriend. Then, take a vacation with your husband, and try to find whatever it was that made you love him in the first place.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (5 July 2010):
 If you really think your marriage is over, leave your husband. But don't leave your husband for another man...it will just be running from one drama to the next. The other man has a girlfriend and he is happy to discuss his personal problems with you. It is a really bad sign - his relationship maybe on the rocks, but he shouldn't be doing the 'my girlfriend does not understand me' routine on you. If he is prepared to leave his girlfriend for you, and you are prepared to leave your husband for him...how long before one of you gets bored and starts leaving each other for someone new? Since you have a child, the whole situation is rather complicated. He may well be using you as a ear to listen to his problems. His current relationship crisis may not allow him to have a stable, normal relationship with someone else right way as you would hope. You may end up single, alone, used and feeling regretful about not working on your marriage while chasing the dream of 'what if' with a man you have barely seen in years.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2010): You are bored with married life, and this seems exciting, and fun, what you have to do is work on making life with your husband good, and you can't do that if you are thinking about another guy, let him go before, you hurt a lot of people.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (5 July 2010):
 Why aren't you working on fixing your marriage? What happened to it? You chose to marry this man and have a child, what about the future you envisioned when you got together, have you simply abandoned that?
I think you may lack some stick-to-it-iveness. Some focus on the existing relationship before chasing an ex would be a better use of your psychic energy and thought processes, it seems to me. Fantasy is all well and good, in its place, but you have a more important issue than chasing a guy who has baggage of his own.
I expect the divine is hoping that you'll work on what you have right this moment in your marriage and child, your existing family.
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A
female
reader, Nezzie +, writes (5 July 2010):
 Do what your heart tells you girl i think that due to your child you have to think about your future very seriously. dont just run off with this guy .. think abou your child .
and also if ther was a spark between you and this guy and he ended it with you due to your age .. but never called he isnt right for you .
even if you were too young h should have still kept in touch
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