A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My child's father left me for my best friend. I can't seem to move on from it. It's been 6 months and it still hurts really bad. And the fact that I still have to be in contact with him because of our son makes it even harder to cope with this. Thinking of all three of them together makes me ill. I have had many chances to date other, nicer guys but I never give them a chance because I am so depressed, and can't stop thinking about how happy they are and how miserable I am. Please someone give me some advice!
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2008): I don't know what to say to help - I just wanted to tell you how much I feel for you. I can kind of understand - my husband had an affair,...he went on to ask to stay with me and our young child.... but there have been times when I have wondered how I would have coped had he ended our marriage and been with her. The thought of my baby with her, with them...it would make me sick too.
I think you have to try to let go of the betrayal you feel, and the anger as much as you can for your child's sake.Your ex has a right to see his child and unfortunately you can't control who he has him/her around. It doesn't seem fair does it - given what BOTH of them have behaved like. Your child will be the one hurt if you don;t try to let go - he or she will be the ham in the sandwich and will potentially be damaged long term if you aren't careful now. I know it will be so hard.
Try to limit the contact you have with your ex to just what is required re. access visits. Don't torture yourself asking about the visit, about her, about what they did...just make sure your child has a wonderful time when he/she is with you. He/she will always love you, be YOUR child...she can't take that away. When your ex has access - make sure you keep yourself busy - see friends etc...don;t give yourself too much time to think.
Don't stress that you haven't felt up to dating etc...it hasn't been very long and you have been through a major trauma. Have you seen a psychologist or someone for you - to talk through what has happened and how to move forward from here? That's what I have found hard - feeling like I can't talk to anyone about the whole mess.
I so hope things get better for you soon. x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008): Why did he leave you, the mother of his child for your "best friend"? And why did your friend betray you like this? How long were you with the father of your child before he left you? How long have you been friends with this girl for?
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A
female
reader, kikicupid  +, writes (21 May 2008):
 I am so sorry you have to go through this. Off course it is very hard and it hurts a lot. How dare he??You need to think that things happen for a reason and down the line you will understand why...In the meantime all i can say, that might not seem to help much now, but time heals. It is not just a saying it really is true- you will eventually feel better and live your life- because remember that your life is yours, its not his and he cannot take it over like this. At least having him meant you have your wonderful son. And maybe him and your best friend will not last and he will come crawling back and thats when satisfaction occurs. But u have to let go somehow and be strong for your son.He probably needs you right now. Good luck x
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