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*ohnboy
writes: My wife's best friend is gay - and I think I'm falling for him. I don't think I'm gay but I have had feelings for men in the past. This guy is really nice though - we get along really well, play fight and flirt all the time. He's recently broken up with his boyfriend and me and my wife have seen a lot more of him than usual. He works nights sometimes and I was on nights too last weekend. I was thinking about him and text him to see how he was doing. We ended up texting all night long, flirting and being suggestive about what we'd like to do with each other. I sort of started it off and he was suggesting things too so I think he feels the same. We've text since but not said anything about the texts at the weekend. I know I'm playing with fire - I would love for something to happen between us but I know it would ruin the friendship we have now - not to mention absolutely destroy my wife. I'm thinking about him all the time - willing him to text me, wondering what he's doing and hoping he doesn't find anyone else. What do I do about my feelings?
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female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (14 June 2005):
 Maybe you actually need to come clean to your wife and tell her exactly how you are feeling. either that or completely walk away from this guy. If you cant do either then you really are in trouble.. it must be hard being married and then suddenly realising you are attracted to other men. May i suggest that you maybe seek advice from others that are in a similar situation. it might not be that you are gay simply that you like this guy, like the way he makes you feel, and you do have a laugh... it would be a shame to go chasing after him if you are not sure 100% of your feelings... if this is the first time this has ever happend to you it may just be the attention that you like, and to go headlong in to it may be a mistake, try and see if there are any advice lines for people that are unsure of their sexuality... find someone to talk to and maybe you will be a little clearer on how you feel. Hope things work out for you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2005): Yes you are gay and you are not ready to admit it
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