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anonymous
writes: My guy says he loves me and does show it at times. We're both affectionate and have fun together but in the bedroom just before we have sex, his erection goes away. Why?
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reader, robinlovescena +, writes (19 June 2005):
 He may be afraid. afraid of commitment. if the two of you have sex, he will probably get worried that you will get pregnant and he will have to sacrifice everything he has to keep that baby living and breathing. if he does not want to have sex, you should respect his decision. there are others ways of showing each other that you really care about them. cuddling is a great example of that. you could wrap your arms around each other, and just sit there knowing that you feel safe as he is holding you. you dont always have to have sex. he may also be afraid of getting HIV or AIDS, or other spreadable diseases for having sex. just talk to him about it. make communication. anyways, if there is no communication going on between the two of you, then you shouldnt even be thinking of having sex with this guy. good luck ~Robin~ aka advice gurl
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reader, pops +, writes (18 June 2005):
I suspect he is worried about getting you pregnant. That is the most common reason for performance anxiety. Use birth control, such as spermacital foam, and a diaphragm, and have him wear a condom. Put it on for him, Your manual stimulation of his penis while putting the condom on will help keep his erection. Hold the condom at the top by pinching the tip between thumb and forefingers, and roll the condom down onto the penis. This will leave a well, or space to hold the ejaculate when he cums. It also reduces the chances that the condom will tear during intercourse.If this does not work, he can try a rubber ring to construct the base of his penis to hold the erection, but he really needs to deal with his emotional problems with professional counseling.pops
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reader, Devil's Advocate +, writes (14 June 2005):
 It could be that it is taking too long and the anticipation is detracting from the intercourse. Try jumping on him a bit sooner, before he loses his erection. I realise that doing it that way all the time could be detrimental to you reaching that all too important point. Mix it up a bit, try different places: the living room, the kitchen, the garden shed etc
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (12 June 2005):
 You might try having sex with him in a more spontaneous moment or place. It could be that Going Into The Bedroom is causing a tension that's killing off his erection, so give some thought to sex on the lounge, over the kitchen table, in the hallway or the shower, or even - if you're sure you won't be seen - the great outdoors.
I agree that your boyfriend needs some reassurance, too. Let him know he's incredibly attractive and that you want him even when he's not there. He'll love it, guaranteed.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2005): He might be very nervous, too nervous to perform. Anxiety can kill an erection. Try reassuring him to build up his ego enough where he not so self-conscious that he loses his hard-on. Try foreplay and get to know each other better on a sexual level. Get more comfortable with each other. Talk honestly to each other about what you want, how you want it and please let him know when he is doing it well. Don't just moan, let him know in a loud whisper that he's doing very well. He needs confidence. It takes a little bit of time, but so does anything when you're trying to learn something still new. He will get successful if you give him a winning chance.
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