A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I have been together for nearly 3 years and 2 weeks ago she said she doesnt want the relationship anymore, due to the arguements etc. She said she still wanted me and loves me. We agreed to give the relationship another go and try and improve, which so far we have done. Problem is now it feels like we'r just close friends, we enjoy going out and having fun, we enjoy spending time together but we feel awkward when it comes to hugging, kissing, touching or anything more. It just doesnt feel the same. It has made us doubt whether we are still "in love" and "lust", we have both talked to friends who say they've been through this stage with their partners and came through it. I cant see her feelings and desires returning, even thought we both say we have time and patience to give it, and that we both want it to be the way it was.I feel very down, I keep worrying about losing her and the great times we had. Is there any way we can relight our fire together? Can we recover? If so, how can we go about this?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2007): A similar thing is happening to me at the moment. Me and my girl have been in a very solid and meaningful relationship for well over a year now and she says she just doesnt feel the same anymore. But from what I can gather, time pushes people apart and only time can bring them back togther. you may be worrying about it now, and I can totally empatheise with you there, it hurts. But great love doesnt just die, and alough it may seem like you;ll never have the same thing again just give it time. You may find you need to take your relationship back a few pegs.
Love is a very hard emotion to stick with and sometimes things just get on top of people and cause them to rethink whats going on. I compleatly agree with the poster before me, if you both dont want things to end, there is always hope. Strong feelings dont die but you just need time to find them again.
I truly wish you the best of luck mate
A
female
reader, melschatbox  +, writes (21 January 2007):
 You 2 need a fun night out with a little wine! Seriously! Be impulsive..you make plans..you bring her flowers..and you rent a room!! If that fails...you 2 are just buddies..if you "get your groove on"...then it's back to being lovers!!! Woohhoo!!! Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2007): resolve not to bicker with her about anything for at least two more weeks, and not to worry at all about the status of the relationship for that time period. then repeat. after a month or two, you can evaluate how you both feel. but it's like how a watched pot never boils. you can't put so much pressure on yourselves to feel better and romantic right away. relationships change and grow over time, and so do feelings. if you're still enjoying each other's company and don't want to give each other up, focus on that. try not to think about the other stuff, and just relax a little. (easier said than done, i know)
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