A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi! i have a boyfriend and we have been going out for three years now. at start, things were going so well but as time pass by it changes. he started hurting me,physically. and it really hurts me to know that he can do that to me.then, i met this guy through my best friend he was really nice to me and all, i started telling him the stuff that my boyfriend does to me and he really showed me how much he cared. i admired him to the point that i liked him and he loved me back. things were getting more and more complicated then my boyfriend knew about this guy. he really got mad at me and started to be possessive, strict and just insane. in bed, he makes me feel like a bitch of which it makes me really uncomfortable so i did not like to have sex with him at all. but he feels bad about it if i don't have sex with him. and he will start to give me reasons that if i don't have sex with him it just means that i am not over with the other guy of which is not true because i am totally over him.so my question is,how can i tell him or explain to him that i am just really not comfortable with it because of how he makes me feel and it is not because of the other guy?
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2009): Him thinking that you're not over the other should be the very least of your worries. Your safety & well being should be your main concern. Please realize that you deserve than a insecure, overbearing, abusive idiot like the one you're with.
A
male
reader, Red Green 0289  +, writes (24 July 2009):
Tell this looser that your not in love with him, that he's abusive, and that you no longer want him in your life. You don't owe him anything. If he can't get that into his thick head, goto the police and get a restaining order that will keep him a good distance from you. If he violates it, call the cops and have him arested.
you lost me in your first sentance... there's ZERO excuse for violence or (unwelcome) pain in a relationship.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (23 July 2009):
 I'm sorry to hear that you are in an abusive relationship. Have you family or friends that you can rely on for help and support? Have you said simply to him that his abuse of you makes you unhappy to be intimate with him?
Please read the following article:
http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
You will have to copy/paste that entire web address to reach the article.
Pay close attention to the description of a 'loser' and see if this describes your boyfriend.
Have you said simply to him that his abuse of you makes you unhappy to be intimate with him?
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