A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i really need some help and advice but dnt no were to go or wat to do! wen i was 12 i was raped and i ended up gettin pregnant! when i was 6 weeks pregnant my mum, dad and me moved away for a bit until everything settled, i was close to my mum and told her about everything! she was with me through everything too. when i was 12 weeks pregnant i was rushed into hospital, they thought i was loosin my baby, luckily everything was fine, but then through the rest of my pregnancy, i was rushed in and out of hospital with problems and my baby ended up been born 42 days early, i had to have a sizarian, she was put straight into intensive care weighing only 3lb 4oz, they kept her in for over 2 weeks! doin all these tests, they thought they'd lost her twice but shes a tough little fighter, and she pulled through everything! i was only 13 when i had her! i had quite a bit of time off school, my parents ended up gettin parental rights of my baby and they have brought her up as their own! we moved back into our old house (where my elder brother was still staying) when baby was just 4 week old! and everyone thought it was fantastic that i had a little sister! everyone thought it was super, she was the best thing in the world, every day we live a great big lie! my mum doesnt even let me treat her like shes my own, i got to chose her name, but everything else is down to them, she has no idea im her mum, when i was 13, back then. i was a child! i had no idea what been a mummy was all about. i didnt know what it was like to have a child, im 16 now and for the past 12 months none stop, ive wanted her to be my baby, i want people to know that even though i was 12, and it wasnt my fault i got pregnant, no i wouldnt of done it if it was my choice, my virginity was taken etc! shes still my baby and i love her dearly! for the past 12 months, ive tried talkin to my mum, askin her if we can just tell people shes mine! im proud of my baby! im proud to call her my little girl! even though i cant! shes 3 next month and i just wish that this year i could write love mummy on her card! instead of my parents thinkin shes theirs! ive asked her if, now im earning, i can look after her, i can let people know shes mine! but mum says people would turn against me if they knew and that people would be discusted in me n everything! i dont think they would! i dont think they'de turn against me, i know now i look back, we only moved away for that short legnth of time, so we could come back and people would have no idea id ever been pregnant! i just cry all the time now, i cry myself to sleep, i have these dreams about me havin this prefect little 2 bedroomed flat, nothing special but me and my baby living there on our own, pretty bedroom, days out, trips to the seaside! ive thought about running away with her, ive thought about takin her somewhere far away! but it would only backfire! shes nothing to me according to everyone else, apart from a sister! it makes me feel sick that they could just allow everyone to belive shes their! it makes me wanna curl up n dye! do i have any legal rights towards my child? i know it sounds daft! i dunno what to do at the end of the day! i dont know where to go, what to do, who to talk to?! shes my baby! i made her, she grew inside me! then as soon as she was born they took her away! please can someone help me!! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Main Man +, writes (8 May 2009):
 You should go to a solicitor & ask for legal aid. Explain what as happend to you & that you want take your back from your parents who have raised it as their own child & not to help you. Because you only a child & needed to continue with your schooling. Hopefully the law will be on your side now that are old enough to care for the child.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (2 September 2008):
Talk to the citizen's advice beaureau, or even social services and ask what your legal rights are as the mother.
I know your parents probably only think they are doing what is best.
Do your parents know how upset you are about this? It's no good crying to yourself every night, you have to let them know how much this is hurting you.
People are horrible and I think many people would turn on you. Only 7% of rape cases end in a prosecution, and that just proves what your mum is saying. People won't believe you, they'll think you are making it up as an excuse.
Did you attacker end up in prison?
Always remember that it is what is best for the child that comes first. If your parents can provide for her better then you may just have to be her sister. But that doesn't stop you from taking her out for day trips and doing all the things you want with her.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2008): I suggest you to alternatively talk to your parents to create plans in order to get involved more in the child's life, spending more alone time with him and being his best support and companion through his journey. If you were in the child's place would you prefer to know your true origins or continue to believe in a more quieting variant. They will force you to remember the rape, when you have probably just gotten over it, or at least think you have. Even if you say you will be deaf to the malicious commentaries, the bad mouthing comes to disturb us through repetition. The revelation can work as a boomerang against you and your child. You now feel like competing for the child's love. Ask your mother to calm down and tell her how you feel, she should understand your feelings are natural and help integrate you more in the child's life. As for the fact he won't call you mother, you can be comforted by the fact he is protected more in this manner and by the fact you have his most sincere affection. And affection itself doesn't know if it is motherly affection or friendly one, or sisterly.
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