A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend broke up with me. We started dating at 17 and I know he wants to experience flirting with chicks and getting wasted at the bar and doing whatever other guys do. We've decided to hang out as friends. His friends and family say give him a bit and he will realize he made a mistake and things will go back to normal. My only worry is that he will take this too far. Is there a way to make sure it doesn't happen? I see him sometimes and his friends tell me what's going on, but I love him and I'm scared.
View related questions:
broke up, flirt Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, LaStrella +, writes (26 February 2009):
I don't think that there is anything you can do to prevent anything from going to far. You both were really young at the time you all started dating and still are so very young.I understand that it is very hurtful and you must care greatly for him. But, honestly he would have wanted to experience other things one day or another. It would have occurred to him later, had it not occurred to him now.
At least he was honest enough to tell you how he felt before hand, rather then to do these things behind your back. Although, it's obvious that he feels the need to go on & pursue & experience these temptations rather then to continue in the relationship you two had. That tells me that those things to him are of more importance to him right now.
You really can't blame him its all part of life. It was bound to happen one day or another.
As for you, I hope that you are not just hanging around waiting on him. Don't do that to yourself. You need to also go out & experience other things.You need to hang out with friends,dance,meet and date other people. That doesn't mean that it has to be sexual,ALWAYS be a lady. But you are also allowed to have fun,be curious,and experience other things.
The worst thing you can do is wait around on him.And sorry to be so blunt...but who is to say that he will later want to continue in a relationship with you. Or that you will even want him back at that time. Will he be the same person then? Will you be able to move past everything you hear of and know of during that time he spent away from you? Will you be able to?
I think its okay that your his friend but I think that you are doing so in hopes that he returns. I think that you are happy & content with that because in a sense you at least have that time with him. That's NOT OKAY!!! You are only adding more pain to your existing pain! Be his friend wish the best for him but keep your distance set your limits.
Also, don't be naïve he is more than likely having sex with other girls. If you are still allowing him to be intimate with you, you should make him use protection. But, why you would allow such if you are is beyond me.
I know you love him & that you are scared for him but its out of your control. There is nothing you can do.Some guys are stubborn. Even when they end up in jail, in a horrible wreck, or end up getting someone pregnant they for some reason don't see that their own choices are what got them there. A lot of times they just turn around & do them all over again. You can talk his ear off but you will probably just make him angry. He will never stop until he is ready.
A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (26 February 2009):
 If you're asking if there's a way to get him to "snap out of it", I'm afraid there's little you can do. It seems like this would have to be something that he'd realize on his own... also known as maturing. On the other hand, in this state, there's no telling what kind of trouble he could get into. If you try to pressure him into maturing, that wouldn't be a pretty scene at all! I hate to say it, but I think you need to let him find his own way out of this (so called) lifestyle on his own.
...............................
|
