A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, and thank you for your advice.I am a 25 year old girl with Sri Lankan origin, but I am born and raised in Norway.The problem is that I am now nearly 5 months pregnant, but toooo scared to tell my parents. I have been with my boyfriend for the last 6 years. I just told my parents about him last year, but they havnt given any acceptance or anything.I have a really odd relationship with my parents. I like being around them, but we never talk about any personal problemes or anything like that. You see, this is really tabu, and even though I am turning 26 this year, my boyfriend has not been accepted. The last year, I have been really irritadet on my parents, specially my mum. She acts like nothing, all my friends and cousins are getting married, but I dont get the ide that she thinks about me.My parents are going through a hard time money-wise right now, or for the last 2 years. All they talk about is moneyproblems.I feel like a failure, I went to college, but could not continiue due to depression. You see, for 2 years ago I had an abortion. I was back the really scared to tell my parents and my boyfriend wasnt supportive as well. I went through with the abortion but have suffered with depression ever since. I keep thinking that I am a failure, that my parents allready think I am a college dropout, what others will think about me and that my parents will get a heart attack.Nowadays I am really angry towards my culture and society, and also real anger towards my self.I hate my self for what I did.Now I feel my baby every day, and I am really happy.But I cant tell anyone because I am too scared. I live at home, work all the time( some times 3 shift a day) just so my parents wont notice). My mothers sisters are really cruel, I know that they will bad mouth me. My boyfriend and I will get married very soon, but at the same time I dont want to hurt my parents. I love them. My sister is just 10 years old, and she needs her parents. I dont want to hurt them. Please!!!I am soo scared. Please give me some advise on how to start this topic and I really appreciate if someone who has been in a similar situation can tell me how they did this.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2013): You need to go to counseling to deal with your inner deamons. From an outside perspective, you need to do the right thing, which is: get engaged (if your boyfriend is heading that way), tell your parents you are pregnant and then have a quick wedding. I understand your culture is conservative - but you live in Norway which is an amazing country that offers lots of freedom for women. You need to get out of your rut and out of your parents type of thinking. Counseling will help with that. You need to fix your life and fix this situation by being honest and making some big decisions quickly. You can only hide this pregnancy a few weeks longer before they will see you are pregnant. Don't do anything stupid like think you can carry this pregnancy to term and hide it.
You're a 26 year old woman. Time to fix your life and thinking.
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