A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Where do I start? My best friend just revealed to me tonight that she cheated on her husband, at my house, with my husband's best friend. My husband is now worried because his best friend is engaged and the girl he is engaged to has a family with a lot of clout in our town. My best friend has asked for my advice, but I'm trying to stay out of the middle because I know all parties involved and I know that if she tells her husband that it will somehow have consequences for me if he chooses to pursue making sure the other person's significant other knows!! They were both consenting adults and chose to do it at my house and I'm pissed. How do we stay out of the middle?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2009): i think you are missing the point here. it is not about you babysitting consenting adults. it is about these two conducting themselves sexually in your home. i know you want to avoid any drama and confrontation but sometimes we need to draw the line and have definate boundaries. by you adopting the softer approach it means that you perhaps condone it, and you are giving her the wrong ideas. she is not doing you any favours by pretending to protect you from her hb. she is only protecting herself. and you are letting her.
i know you did not look for this mess but this mess found you. you are not the helpless victim here . by playing it out on her terms you have become her accomplice. it means, by your non admission, that her f*cking this man in your home, is justified and ok. time to call a spade a space. she did not have emotional problems while doing her dirty deed with this man now did she. plse stop making excuses. this whole thing is going to blow up and bite you all in the backside. why?? lies, lies and more cover ups. 2 wrongs do not make a right. but then, each to his/her own.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDuring their sexual trist, I had gone to bed. My husband stayed up until he was tired. We had been to a bar with a lot of other people and those two both needed places to stay, so I agreed to let them stay rather than drive home drunk. She has informed me tonight that she has revealed to her husband that they did share some level of intimacy, however she did not tell him the entire truth. His first response was, where was your friend?. I have to say, when two adults are left alone, I do not feel I need to babysit anyone. I was tired, I went to bed, my husband was tired, he went to bed. We are not adult BABYSITTERS! We have decided to "end" our friendship on many levels as of this afternoon. She is trying to protect me because I did not ask for this. There are other emotional strains occurring in her life at this moment and I choose not to tell her how pissed I am. I will however, share this with her at some point, because she SHOULD know!! Thanks for your responses.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2009): well, tell her and your hb best friend that you are pissed at both of them and tell them you want no part in it. you should also tell your friend that she had total disrespect for you and your home. if you keep quiet then it means that you are condoning the affair. they both need to know that they have conducted themselves in this despicable manner in your home. also tell her your home id not the whorehouse she has made it.
what i find strange- where were you when this sex session was taking place. do the guest at your parties get a room for their pleasure.
you may want to stay out of it but the deed took place at your home. this means that either you condone the action or you turned a blind eye. either way, you are in the middle. asmuch as you want to stay out of it, the scene of the crime was at your home. perhaps with/witout your consen. it doesn't matter. it happened and that is what her hb will be looking at. its unfortunate but if you want to come clean, when he asks/questions you need to just speak the truth. if you don't you are then their accomplice. your hb needs to talk to his friend as well.
too much of covering up and you may just have egg on your face.
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A
male
reader, Your friend  +, writes (21 June 2009):
 So you should be angry about it. She compromised you and your husband by doing this at your house and you need to tell her that. Let her know that you and your husband are upset about it and that you thought she would have been more considerate of you and done this somewhere else and not told you about it. Once this is done then you will be in a safer position if this becomes public otherwise saying nothing makes you an unwilling accomplice with all the repercussions that go with that.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (21 June 2009):
 Avoidance and saying that you don't want to get involved, and that they chose to do it, you didn't know about it, and (depending on how angry you are) that neither of them is to ever be allowed in your house again.
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