A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid:I dont know whats taken over me! My ex and I broke up maybe 5/6 months ago. Before then I never used to masturbate, but since I have discovered something very amazing! I cannot stop fantasizing about my ex and pleasuring myself. Its to the point where I feel like I am going over board with my fantasies. We had great sex together and we still care about each other as friends... What are these fantasiez telling me?My ex and I have still been sexually intimate since the break up, but recently learning he is dating someone I do not wish to persue a sexual relationship with him.I am afraid my sexual desires will drive me to try to contact him! Is this normal or am I going through a phase? This never happened when 2 of my previous relationships ended. I feel like I am becomming a sexual feane sometimes but this isn't like how I used to be! Please give me your insights! Much appreciated!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2009): softtouchmale2003 hit it right on the head. read what he wrote carefully and you'll be ok. the same thing happened to me. with time it will pass :) in the mean time enjoy yourself and always remember why things ended.
A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003  +, writes (16 September 2009):
 It seems like you miss him a lot, and the sex with the ex factor reinforced what was before a very close, emotional relationship.
Now that he has a girlfriend, you're fantasizing about him because he's no longer emotionally connected to you as a lover.
Therefore, you keep fantasizing about him and this gives you enough energy and arousal to satisfy you're own urges.
There's nothing wrong with masturbating so its just a healthy way of getting rid of some pent-up emotional energy.
The only thing you should be concerned about is if you start seeing someone else, and the urge to feel sexual towards your ex gets in the way of a new relationship. Then it might cross over into an obsession of some kind.
But it sounds like your ex was satisfying much more in you than you knew at the time.
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