A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes: I've been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. Lately, I have noticed that their was something big missing in our relationship. My boyfriend and I discussed this matter and he actually made me realize what it is, it's sexual chemistry that is missing. I have realized that within the last few months our sex life is pretty non-existent. We have everything else a good relationship needs, except physical. There are moments where I am attracted to him and other moments when I am not. I don't know what to do. It is scary that the guy that I love I might be not attracted to anymore. Just for your info: There has been moments where I felt that sex was expected from me, because he wants it and when we are alone he expects it, when I don't want too. Also I never had an orgasm from it. Could this be why I am not interested in sex? If so what can I do to change it? I know sex is important in a relationship, but what happens if I can't be sexual with him anymore? Is it cause for break up? Please help
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reader, pops +, writes (13 September 2005):
Were you ever sexual? Did you ever have an orgasm, with him, or alone? I am suspecting that your lack of interest in sex preceeded your relationship with him. First, get a check up with your physician, to make sure there is nothing organic wrong with you. If not, then the problem is closer to home, and it is your feelings about sex. You have to want to feel sexy, to feel sexy. You have to want to have orgasms to have one. And, you have to learn how your body has orgasms before you can teach him how to help you have orgasms. Finally, you have to tune your body to enjoy sex, and enjoy having orgasms. Only then can you teach your lover how to pleasure you. And then, and only then, will you have a normal interest in pleasuring him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2005): Dear anonymous,
There is obviously a lot more here that just mo sexual chemistry or whatever you want to call it. You two have obviously gotten bored with eachother and moret han likley have grown so comfortable that the feeling just isn'y there anymore. I really don'y know how to tell you to get that feeling back with your boyfriend because If i knew I would still be with my ex boyfriend. The fact that your boyfiend of 4 YEARS hasant gave you an oragasm says a lot. Most men care about if they pleast their partner in bed or not and if you havnt had one in 4 years the he isn't caring about your sexual needs and wants. If you feel like there is no way possible to be attracted to him anymore that MOVE ON honey. If you feel comfortable try new positions, watch movies, or simply try a new man.
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