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female
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anonymous
writes: I am a 30 year old married woman, and in the past few months, I've been having growing feelings towards the pastor of my church, who is a 40 year old married man. The thing is, I don't think that I'm the only one that feels this way. I've noticed progressively that he looks at me a lot in social situations, and at times actually stares at me until I look away, then I will glance back at him and he is looking at me again. It's nothing that's obvious, but I think it's obvious to me. He seems to be a bit nervous around me now, and sometimes I will see him standing off to the side of whatever activity is going on, and then after a minute, he will appear beside me and begin talking to the group that I'm in, but not me at first. Then when I address him personally, he will turn to me and begin talking animatedly, but this doesn't usually happen until I initiate one-on-one conversation with him. This is part of what leads me to believe that feelings have changed for him also. I've known him for a year and a half and things did not used to be this way. It seems almost as if some kind of spark was ignited between us at a certain moment, and now we're both aware of it. I suppose I've been a bit friendlier to him since this started, but I don't feel that I've been too obvious about my feelings. I guess my question is, is he interested? If he thought I had feelings for him suddenly, but didn't feel a reciprocal pull, would he catch my eye so frequently, and at times hold my gaze for up to five seconds? If he didn't feel an attraction to me, would he constantly bring himself into my circle, and place himself in close proximity to me? I would really appreciate some advice...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2008): Hi,
I can really relate to what you are going through. I am in the exact same situation, except I have known my pastor for over three years. I am completely head over heels for him and it's untold agony. I pray about this all of the time and try to keep my thoughts off of him. Thinking of leaving the church, but his wife is my friend also. I catch him watching me constantly. Whenever I talk to another man at our church, he always watches like he disapproves. He is completely and devestatingly handsome and we have such a powerful bond. This is such a loaded situation and I can't let things get out of hand. Must pray!
A
female
reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (6 February 2006):
 Enjoy the secret spark as a complement...then leave it alone. I watched a church tear itself apart due to the affair of a woman and the pastor. He was supposed to be counciling her.
A)Nobody had a right to stick their nose in it because it was just a rumor.
B)Church people don't alway seem to follow their own teaching.
But...There is nothing wrong with a mutual attraction...Provided that's all it ever becomes. Wow...somebody can't take their eyes off of you because you are so pretty. Cooool.
Don't let a sweet little complement turn into something horrible. Keep it in Fantasy world...and the world never needs to know. Act on it and you have no idea when or where the bomb will strike. And there will be no controling the damage.
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A
female
reader, fairyangel  +, writes (3 February 2006):
 So what kind of church do you belong to, anyway?...
The Church of Fornication? Probaly not.
He is your pastor... he is married and so are you...
Next question?....
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