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female
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anonymous
writes: I'm 17, and after a drunken night I ended up fumbling in a back of a taxi with this 37 year old married man. We got intense but we didn't sleep together. I have started seeing him every Sunday, and things are getting more intense as time goes by. We both like each other, flirt and tease each other and I know something will end up happening if this carries on. He's lovely and I know this is only some fun to both of us, but is it right to keep our Sunday affair going?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2006): what a load of balony u r cheating on some poor women just get someone single and dont listen to those stupid rules u will be found out in the end .my god i have not heard so much crap in my life
A
female
reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (6 February 2006):
 Sigh...you both know it is just a bit of fun.
I had a bit of fun with an older man...he was 37, I was 17...and it has always been a sweet memory for me. He knew lots more than my little college boyfriends...I was totally hot for him and we carried on for a couple of years. He was the pres. of the country club...I was a lifeguard and local high school golf star. He was my first true Player and yes...yess...I know it would have hurt his wife...she dumped him eventually. (not because of me) I have kept it a secret to this day even though he died years ago. He made me feel like I could have any man I wanted in the palm of my hand. I think self esteem wise...I carry that with me to this day. Maybe it's why I have such a soft spot for those who Really are Players. (not the usual play with your heart and stomp it kind)
I absolutely adored him....BUT I WAS NEVER IN LOVE WITH HIM. I never sat at home waiting for him to call and he carefully and considerately made certian I understood the "Rules" for playing before anything happened. We stuck to them like a religion and it worked out like a dream. Many people can't stick to the rules and get themselves hurt. It is totally up to you if you want some fun. But understand the rules and live by them or don't Play.
1) we will alway treat each other with kindness and consideration.
2) we will not brag to our friends, family or diary about US. It is our secret only. Even when friends see ear to ear grins and question us....we are just haveing a good day.
3) Either party may end this at any time with no ill feelings. Every day is a new day and if we wish to continue fine...if not fine.
4) At no time will we Fall IN Love. This is about sex...truely enjoying physical pleasure without jealousy, commitment or future plans.
5) We will strive to see that nobody outside or inside this relationship in injured in any way by rumor or accidental discovery. It will mean that we cannot see each other at times..better to error on the side of caution.
6) We will meet each other in social situations as friends. we will not make eyes at each other or cast evil glances at the people attending us during functions. Nor will we hang about chatting an unusual length of time.
7) We may use each others friendship to convey helpful information to each other about mutual aquaintances. We protect each other when able to do so and may act as extra eyes and ears for the other.
8) We are never seen alone in public together.
9)We will ONLY practice Safe SEX. There will never be any time that we say oh..I forgot a condom. No condom...No sex.
10)Yes, we are respectfully Useing each other...this is not a cookies for one and empty plate for the other situation.
Now for me...I found the rules wonderful. I knew exactly what to expect and that is how it played out. They have never let me down. But if you can't keep love and sex separate...they will not work. You are very young...but so was I.
Am I recomending you do this? NO Not at all. I am only saying that if you want this and are going to do it anyway...protect your heart by knowing the rules. (make sure he does too) Don't allow this to be something that could leave you cracked and broken for your next Real Relationship.
and by the way. If you are too embarassed to discuss this openly with him...you ARE to young(at any age) to be haveing this sort of relationship.
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A
female
reader, ecascen +, writes (31 January 2006):
 First of all, darling, what your'e doing is wrong. Second, what he's doing is wrong. Should i elaborate? Your'e 17 (im of the same age), your'e young and your'e fresh. He's a man, and you like that. You have a relationship that revolves around sex and you think this is fun. You dont love him, he doesnt love you. I can stop right here you know. Relationships are pointless without love.. He's married. Think of the other lives you'd be ruining if you go on with this sunday affair. Would you like it if one of your parents did the same thing? I think not. This relationship was wrong right from the very begginning. Need i say more? You have to stop, please? The enjoyment you get from the thrill that you feel when you do IT behind his wife's back wont be worth the shame and agony you'd feel if you get pregnant and he doesnt stand by you. And even if he does, you would still be on the losing end. One of the things i learned from my parents was to begin with the end in mind. Think about the consequences of your actions first before you do them. Should you go on with your relationship? Try asking other questions first: Where is this relationship going? What good can i get from it? Am i unknowingly hurting others with what i am doing? What will other people think of me? After__ years, what will i think of myself? Please, and i always say this, think about it. Dont just do what you feel like doing. THINK.
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A
female
reader, shania  +, writes (31 January 2006):
 This married man is taking advantage of you.All he wants to do is have his bit of fun then go back to the stability of his wife and kids.Its called...having your cake and eating it.If you carry on with this you will probably start having feelings for him and before you know it,you will be begging him to leave his wife and kids which is only natural as most girls wouldnt share a fella with another woman.If i was you i would break it off now and meet some other guys your own age without the baggage.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2006): no its not,his a married man, his only after sex, really do you think a 37 year old is going to leave his wife and kids if he has any for some 17yr old girl? no he wont his just using you, i know he seems nice bu this just being like that so he can get down your pants, and trust me once you do become intimate and if you were to become pregnant he wont want anything to do with you, so dont waste your time go find someone your own age.just think of it this way when your 27 he will be almost 50 yyuuukkkk. and you should be ashamed of yourself.
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