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male
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anonymous
writes:Myself and my boyfriend of almost four years have the problem of me wanting sex and intimacy a lot more often than he does. In the beginning this wasn't a problem as he wanted it as much as I did, but now he is less interested. It came to a head last night, and he says that it is only a problem because I am making it one. He says he's just not as much of a sexual person as I am. He doesn't seem to understand that sexual frustration and being pushed away from the one you love is absolute torture. Apparently I am just making it a problem. What am I supposed to do - cut off my balls or something!? There obviously is no room for "compromise" as he evidently wants no more sex than we already have, and by saying I am finding is hard is just me making problems. I love this guy with all my heart, but am not sure if he's being reasonable.So am seeking some other perspectives...thanks. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2008): i've been in the same kind of relationship.. i was the one that was less interested though and she came at me just too much pushing it going right to sex.. like just come in the room and hang for a little bit and then bam! flop it out and start goin at it.. it got old bc it was easy.. i told her to tease me.. tempt me.. try and make things interesting and she started inviting me to shower with her and just showering with her and then when we got out yeah i was in the mood.. she was a freak.. wanted it all the time ALLL THE TIME.. just tease him.. try to make it interesting.. you know what turns him on if you've been with him for 4 years.. just make it interesting and invite him and show him you're not pushing it like he says you are.. just show him you love having sex.. WITH HIM! lol hope that helps
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2008): what needs to happen is that he needs to learn to pleasure you with out worrying about himself. If you have a higher sex drive than him it shouldn't bother him to pleasure you more than you pleasure him. My boyfriend and I had the same problem. we just decided that if I wanted sex and he didn't, then he would just get me off, and then he would feel happy because he took care of my needs.
So unless this guy is just one of those who doesn't think it's fair for you to get off when he doesn't, ask him if that would work.
Otherwise I think masturbation is your only other choice.
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