A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey I’m jus a confused 14 year old that needs help ha!......well I’m stuck between 3 great guys one is my boyfriend (age 16), the other is my ex (age 18) and the other is the sweetest guy that I jus met about 2 weeks ago(age 17)! Ok the problem is I dated my ex for 9 months and well he cheated on me and other stuff so I broke up with him. I was sooooo in love with him we had plans to stay together forever and I really and truly figured we could last... but anyway I don’t suppose to be talking to him cause my dad really don’t like him cause he really hurt me.... but you know teenagers there hard headed so I talk to him anyway. Yesterday he told me that he was still in love with me and that he was really and truly sorry and that he loved me and one problem is I said it back! Which that Leeds to my boyfriend we have dated a month and 3 weeks and he is really sweet in all but I found out today that he was really just a player cause I was on his old MySpace that he had before we started dating and read some old pic comments there were 3 girls arguing over him and one of his ex's stepped in the conversation and said that he was just a player and he will tell you that he loves you and that you are the best girlfriend that he has ever had and that he wants to marry you and all but really he says that to every girl he has ever dated..... He says it to me all the time... so yeah that hurt really bad!!! but moving on to the guy I just met well he is really sweet and funny and we live really close so I could probably see him allot so I jus don’t know. I mean my boyfriend is sweet and all but I just don’t want to be dating a player and if I date my ex we will have to keep it a secret cause of my dad.... so yea I’m jus confused I love my boyfriend, but I’m in love with my ex and I’m confused about the other guy!!!!! What should I do????? Should I just break up with my boyfriend and stay single or stay with my boyfriend?? Or choose either my ex or the other guy???? Oh My Gosh I'm So Confused!!!!!! Help Me Please!!!! I'll Do Anything!!!!Love Always,super confused teenagerPlease write back!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2008): Relax, it's under control. Do you remeber something that used to worry you when you were 6? Does it still trouble you now? Probably not. It will be the same with this.
About your ex, there's an old saying that says "once a cheater, always a cheater". If you had a commited relationship and he didn't value you and respect you enough to at least break up with you before going with someone else, going back with him will only make things worse.
You are the first person who should respect herself and if you don't do it already, 14 is a perfect age to start doing so. Remeber that we put our own value, so respect yourself and demand respect from others. So in a few words: YOUR EX NO. No matter how much he loves you, no matter how much you love him, no matter how much he says he's sorry or how much his changed,he had one chance with you and he lost it.
About your boyfriend, why are you with him. It doesn't sound like you lovehim too much for you have already said to another man that you love him too and are thinking about a third one. If you really loved either of them you wouldn't.
About you worring that he's a player, and if you really want to stay with him, talk to him about it, ask him directly... I've heard that you say this and that to all of your girlfriends, is it true? It would be a good thing that you have an honest talk about what you feel and what each of you expects of the relationship.
Plus, about marriage, it feels very nice to hear that someone wants to spend his life with one, but come on! you still have a lot of things ahead of you, and if you marry young, there are greater chances that you'll study less years, have little or no professional development and will be less able to get interests, hobbies, dreams and an income of your own. That's why many young marriages end up in divorce.
About the new guy, I insist if you loved any of the other two, you wouldn't be thinking about him. Before moving any further with him, you need to end the other two relationships.
Before going into a new relationship is always advisable to have sometime alone, to be with yourself and grow as a person, that way when you start taht new relationship you'll be able to enjoy each other and he won't be just the rebound guy. (He deserves as much respect as you do. You could start as friends, and if you like each other's company, you might want to start a relationship.
Always rember to respect and appreciate yourself, and then the others will do it too.
And don't worry, the day you find the one, you'll know it and there'll be no doubt.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2008): u love your boyfriend after 1 month and 3 weeks???
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