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*weetdavid
writes:I found out the woman I have been seeing is older (5 years) than I thought.In a nutshell, I am almost 52 have been seeing a gal for going on the 4 th month. In her profile she said she was 53 and to be honest with you, when I met her I couldn't believe how hot she was and many people including some of my friends who met her say she could easily pass as being in her 40's. She also is very young at heart, dresses very sharply and quite active...loves golf like me too. We recently told each other we love the other one. At a Thanksgiving dinner her sister recently mentioned something that when I did the math would make my gal older than she said. When I confropnted her she said she was 59 and knew she needed to tell me. Her reason for saying she was 53 is that she hates being how old she is and tends to hide her age whenever possible. Ireally feel strongly about her and want to continue but am struggling alot with coming to terms with it...I am struggling with:1. Trying to accept being with a woman that much older than me.2. The lying part also concerns me but not as much cause I think she has been true to me about other thing.Any suggestions....I really want to stay with her.......................David Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2010): If you met this woman in the street you would think she was a lot younger and she wouldn't have a number pinned on her forehead of how old she was. So what difference does it make? You are happy together aren't you, so just enjoy your time together and don't worry about a number.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): Face it, you wouldn't have considered her if you knew her age. But because you didn't you gave her a shot. Plus you said yourself that she is hot... I bet there are women 10 or even 20 years younger than her who are not as hot.
Its really not about age, but how you feel and how you look.
But because you are somewhat shallow, I suggest you let this awesome woman go so she can be with someone not as hung up on something like age.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): Ok first off this is NOT a big age gap, if it were the other way around you would have no qualms about it, and I doubt very much if you would be writing into DC about the woman you've just met, fallen for was five years younger, NO of course you wouldn't.
Ok she lied about her real birth age, but as you mention the word 'PROFILE' then I presume you met her online, through a dating website. I'm a full time dating and relationship consultant by profession in the UK, and the only reason I'm mentioning that, is because any female OVER a certain age in the EYES of males, will not even get searched for profile wise, as most guys have hang ups about a woman who is in there own age group. FACT: the majority of males lie about age on their dating profiles (over a certain age) people do it, as they want to give themselves a head-start when it comes to those who SEE the number first. FACT: the majority of profile photos are at least 'five years old' with those who are online over 45.
Now if you had said she lied about being single, or lied about something that could really affect the outcome of your relationship, then may be that would be something to consider. I ask anyone on here, if there has ever been a time in their life they haven't taken a year or two off their age, or added if very young.
You really seem to be making such an issue out of something that should not be an issue, you are not in the first flush of youth yourself, you're both in the same decade, let it go, and just enjoy being with a woman who's HOT!
Jilly
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reader, chigirl  +, writes (4 December 2010):
 Do you understand where she is coming from? If she doesn't look that old, doesn't act that old, then why let it stop you. I only question lying about age when an older man/woman wants to get with an underager, or when an underager lies to get with a far too old person. In this case you are both mature adults, and 5 years to or from wont make much of a difference. Too bad she lied about it, but it's really not the worst that could have happened, and 5 years, in your age group, is not really that much. If you were 15 and she 20 it'd be an issue. At 54 and 59 it's not an issue.
If you don't think she'd lie about other more important things (because at your age I dont see age as being that important, like I said it's worse if it's 15=20), then why not just talk about this, let her know it was wrong, demand honesty, forgive and move on with someone hot that you love and who loves you back?
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female
reader, Level22  +, writes (4 December 2010):
 Crikey, she isn't that much older than you! But I can see your angst in this. I am 44 but can easily date guys who are 30 lol, so I am with her on that!! Go Girl.
Your problem is now you know she is older you look at her differently, like an older person instead of the person you thought she was. I get that.
Its not so much the lying its the change of perception.
Guess it is only a five year diff, thats how I would look at it, and if you enjoy her company why spoil it.
Don't get on to her about her lying about her age, she hates herself enough doing it anyhow. not easy being an older duck. She has probably worked hard to stay younger looking, don't penalise her for that, you would crush her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2010): The age difference isn't a big deal but the lying is. You never know whats the truth and what's not now. She lied to you every day you've known each other, that is a hard thing to overcome because now the trust issue will always be on your mind.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2010): She was definitely wrong in telling you that she is five years younger than she really is.
However, a seven-year-age difference is not much at all, and it's true as you get older. Also, if she is still young at heart and you are attracted to her, the age difference should not matter.
I say you should just move on from that little hang-up and enjoy your time with her. It sounds like everything is going great for you two and really, in the end, that is all that matters. Good luck :-)
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reader, troubledinlove33  +, writes (4 December 2010):
dont be so stupid.. shes hot and most women i know try to hide there age.. i bet you wont find anyone as hot as her that is in there 50's.. you both connect amazing you say you love her so just deal with it the fact that your finding it so hard to deal with makes me think you dont care about her as much as you say you do.. its not a big deal at all..!!
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