A
female
age
30-35,
EFM94
writes:Hey guys!I'm new here but felt like I wanted to share an experience with you which kind of made me lose sight of who I was.So there is a guy who for the past four years has decided to come in and out of my life whenever he fancies. He saved me from a domestic relationship when I was younger... Therefore I believe thats the reason that I allowed him back in to my life. There was something always odd and very off about him. He would always pop up saying how much he loved me and wanted us to be together. Yet given the chance he never made it happen... Just disappeared out of my life.Whenever I found happiness again he would always appear. Trying to ruin it for me. And I let him. For him to shit all over me once again. He once even asked to meet my best friend behind my back... Then denied it when I questioned him.. Causing me and her to fall out because I chose to believe him.It's only recently I learnt about his true colours. About how he had to bed every girl he came into contact with. How he always ran back to me when he had nobody else. I'm better than being the last option.I cut him out of my life. Told him exactly what I thought of him and he blocked me on everything. Truth is I thought I loved him. But I didn't... He was just the person I always wondered 'what if' about. What if things worked out? But I know now I would have just got hurt. I'm going to miss the person he was. He was my saviour back then. And I've been hoping for that person back for a long time. Truth is people change. I used to bow down to him.. Accept him back in to my life when he was bored.. End my relationships for him. And for what? To find out he is now a person who sleeps with everyone and only cares about himself. Don't ever let someone treat you as their last priority. Don't ever let someone back in to your life with the intention of dropping you in a split second. We all have that 'what if' person. But truth is even if things did work out they probably wouldn't have even been that great. Never lose respect for yourself and put your happiness in jeapordy in order to please someone else. Remember to love yourself more. I got really hurt by this person and now I have to pick myself back up. If only I'd have been tougher I could have saved myself all this heartache.Don't hold out for someone who doesn't give you a second thought. Your life is meant to be lived... Not put on hold for someone to show up and leave again. You're worth more. Be strong my Aunties and Uncles!
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 May 2016):
 You write a lovely piece, however don't be quick to judge yourself and wish you had dealt with it different. We all meet someone in our lives where we regret allowing them to treat us badly. I know I did. I allowed a guy to treat me like crap, allowed him to keep coming back to me, god knows why, probably because I was scared of the unknown, scared to be alone and scared to meet someone new, it took me a long long time to realize he treated me badly, all my friends warned me, I knew myself deep down what he was doing was wrong, but I thought I loved him and there would be hope for us.
Fast forward to where I am now and I am super glad that I had that situation, because I can appreciate how much I have grown since then, how much I learnt to be independent and take control off my own life. I worked hard, took all the negative people away and rebuild my life. The hard times make us who we are, and they make us stronger. When it comes to men, it makes us appreciate a good man when we meet them.
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