A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a plane ticket to go see my boyfriend this weekend. It's our anniversary and his uncle has gifted us with concert tickets and dinner. His uncle went through a lot of planning and prepping for this, because he's a really great guy and his aunt and uncle snd family really adores me. I just can't get myself to go... but I don't want his uncle's hard work to go to waste.I've been so disappointed with my boyfriend.. it's so sad. Almost to the point where I want to give up on this relationship. My boyfriend used to be very attentive and caring... in the corniest silliest way.. but now it seems he could care less. He forgets everything I say, he never makes time to be with me. He puts in no effort but doesn't understand why I'm upset because he is always so non chalant about everything that has to do with us. His actions tell he he doesn't care. Everytime I point out specific examples to him ge'd say "I'm sorry" .. "I forgot" "I don't have time" "What u want me to do".I have tried and have tried so hard to tell myself that I must go to visit him this wekeend because his whole family is expecting me. We have meals planned with his family. His aunt and uncle worked hard for our anniversary evening of concert and dinner. I have to go.. I can't let them down... but I don't want to be with my boyfriebd anymore. I'm so disappointed in him and have lost all hope for us. He is no longer who he used to be.. the caring and attentive guy I used to know doesn't care anymore. At least thar's what his actions tell me... but his words, he says he misses me and can't wait to see me and he's sorry sorry sorry.. well sometimes sorry doesn't mean a thing when its repeated over and over again.
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male
reader, Billy Bathgate +, writes (30 January 2018):
If you don’t want to go don’t go. Sounds like the relationship has run it’s course. Call your boyfriend and tell him it’s over. Thank his uncle for his kindness and Offer to reimburse his uncle for the cost of your ticket(s). In fact don’t offer, just reimburse him. Do not let guilt force you to do something you don’t want to do. Boyfriend’s relatives may be great people but you’re not in a relationship with them.Good luck.
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (30 January 2018):
 You ought to make the effort to go, particularly as his family have made great efforts and laid out some cash on your behalves. There might be an opportunity to talk to one of his family and find out if anything is troubling him, work, health, money, you.
You may be surprised how they can be on your side. It isn't them or us.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2018): That's a tough situation to be in. Do you think you can find the courage in you to go, this one last time? Maybe you can treat this as the make or break- if your boyfriend is still not as affectionate as he used to be, even at such a special weekend as this, then you could end the relationship when you're back home.
Of course, if you really don't want to go, then don't go. You will upset the family by cancelling, but that shouldn't be the only reason to go.
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A
male
reader, Allumeuse +, writes (30 January 2018):
There's nothing to stop you going and using as time to see if there's anything worth salvaging. How long have you been going out? When are you finally going to be in the same zip code permanently?
If the answer to those questions is I don't know, then you seriously need to reconsider your life.
Long distance relationships without and end date are doomed and its possible he has checked out of yours early.
Its possible your relationship has become an idea of one. It has no traction to him.
Also, why is your grown boyfriends uncle making the running in your relationship?
If it's too awful to contemplate the smiling and high spirits when you think your relationship is over- don't go, if you think you stand a chance of making him understand how disconnected you feel,you should try- perhaps this is his attempt to make you see he cares. If your relationship has no long distance end date-forget it.
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