A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidI've been with my boyfriend for just under 3 years and I love him very much. He makes me feel so special and we get on so well. I can see myself being with him forever, he works so hard I know he'd look after me and I know he'd be a great dad. The thing is, we're both 21 and lately my friends have been saying I'm too young to be settling down. They love him, dont get me wrong, but during a night with the girls they started talking about how they'd want to "have a life" and try out being with a few lads, instead of just settling down with someone they got with when they were 18.I can't think of being with anyone else, and the thought of him getting with another girl breaks my heart. I'm so happy with him, but since speaking to the girls I've been having doubts. What if I'm settling down too young? I've only had one boyfriend before, who I went out with for a year, and he treated me like crap. My current boyfriend is the only boy I've ever slept with and, it sounds bad, but I'm thinking I will have only slept with him if I stay with him and get married.It's not about the sex, I'm just so confused. I love my boyfriend loads, I would never cheat on him and the thought of 'having a break' and us both getting other partners really upsets me. But a little part of me is wishing I'd met him a few years later :(xx
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female
reader, chachacha +, writes (7 March 2007):
I disagree with rhythmandblues.
You have a good relationship and you should be enjoying it, and indeed you were, until your silly friends came along and suggested that there was some grass out there that might be greener.
Enjoy your relationship. Work on it. If it is good why would you want another one? You might be with this man for the rest of your life, and that would be wonderful.
A
male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (7 March 2007):
 Could it be that your "friends" are jealous of your happiness? That would be my guess. Misery loves company, and I suspect they are really miserable because all they meet are creeps who want to get in their pants and then skate off.
Let your friends live their lives the way they see fit, and you live yours the way you see fit. I think you'll end up just fine.
Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2007): I understand how you feel, I went through the same thing with my first boyfriend, and we ended up breaking up.
I think your friends have a valid point....it is pretty rare that a relationship started when you are both 18 will last your lifetime especially without some major upheavel. Over time people change a great deal, you won't be the same person at 30 that you are at 21, and neither will your boyfriend.
I think if you do plan to marry, you should stop thinking about how he will be able to take care of you....this is a mistake women make. Men die, men leave and men get bored and lose respect for women who are not confident and capable. So finish your studies, get a great job, have your own friends, hobbies, checking account, your own place (until you have a ring and a date) and maintain your sense of self and be sure your boyfriend is the type that will grow with you and not try to stifle you or hold you back, and be sure you can weather change as well, becasuse if you stick with him and you get married, you will have to be that type of couple to make it work long term.
That said, only you can decide what you want to do...taking a break is not always a bad thing, but I don't think sleeping with other men to decide on the one makes any sense really...so don't let that be the reason, that is ridiculous.
The reason you split would be because you don't really know at 21 what you want out of life, and you may not know who you are.....and you have some goals to achieve that do not include him, only you can decide, though.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2007): Hi,
My girlfriend of three years just left me for this exact reason. She went abroad with friends who wore her down, convincing her that a young, beautiful girl needs to know what is out there and can't be with the same guy forever.
What she will learn, as you will too, is that there is nothing out there. People all over the world spend their lives searching for happiness. If you are happy..then by all means, stay. My girl is not very happy anymore. She cries all night long from her new apartment. She txts me to say she has a knot in her stomach. She went on a date with a guy that all her friends were pushing her to date, and ended up making out, and now I won't take her back. She is more miserable than I was when I lost her. If you want this to be you, keep listening to your friends. They say they want whats best for you...but in reality, they are likely jealous of what you have, and don't understand how important it is to you. If pressed, they would gladly change their single ways for a nice, dependable boyfriend. Anyone who has watched Sex and the City knows that.
Who cares how many people you sleep with? There is no rule that says you need to date a lot of people and sleep with even more. We do that, as a process of elimination, to get to where you are today. If you enjoy sleeping with the person you are with, and he does to, that is wonderful. Don't submit to this stupid mass psychosis that we all need to be single, attractive, and playing the field. Hollywood does, and every single one of them get divorced and separated, lonely and pathetic.
I lost the love of my life for nothing. Don't make the same mistake.
[email address blocked]
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