A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Known my boyfriend for almost five years and at times, I feel like he disregards my feelings or things important to me. He's nice and generous but again, I just get frustrated. Like yesterday, I went to his place and had to work the night shift that night. I forgot my mobile at home and so, I asked him to please set an alarm. He answers, "What for?" He hates alarms. I remind him about work. I ask three more times and he doesn't do it. Finally, he suggests I take a nap. I tell him no, can't sleep without an alarm. He seems to relent and I see him on his phone, he asks me for what time and I tell him. I go to sleep. Next thing I know, I wake up at the exact time i'm supposed to physically be at work! No chance to call ahead or anything! I freak out, call my Supervisor on his phone and make a run for it. I couldn't look at him I was so mad. He never set the alarm! My job is cutting heads right now and I have to support myself, my mom and siblings which he knows. I felt betrayed. Just because he hates alarms, he can't suffer through it to ensure I make it to my job? I get there 40mins late with a gas tank almost on empty, no phone and not as sharply dressed as I should have been. I hate, hate being late. This isn't the first time he's done something like this. Though he apologized, I'm still angry. Not only that, his birthday came up and the previous week, I asked him if he'd be free cause I wanted to celebrate with him. He said yes but then the day before, he told me his uncle was coming to town and he'd be with his family. I had made reservations, planned to bake his favorite cake from scratch and I had saved up for his gift. He's older than me and for some time, I couldn't get him much in the way of presents. That hurt but I let it go. I couldn't do much more than message him "Happy Birthday" cause I was so upset. I feel bad now cause I should have called, but I can't fake good cheer...anyway, I'm not thinking clearly. Did I overreact?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2014): You need to tell him he is frustrating you. Otherwise it bottles up and you're going to explode while he is so ignorant that he thinks it's come out of nowhere. Does he not have a job? Does he not realise how unprofessional it is to turn up late and not only risks your own job but the affect it has on people who either have to finish late to allow for your lateness or the colleagues who take on the work. All because he doesn't like alarms?? I'd suggest if you're working don't bother going to see him. I work nights so when they come around I just go to bed once I'm home, like 0830 and I'm up by 1630 a no need for evening naps as you just to straight through again. But realistically he needs to either consider someone other than himself or you have to start asking yourself if you see yourself with this man for the rest if your life, potentially a husband and father to children...
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 July 2014):
 Why stay over if he doesn't want to set the alarm? I would have gone home, slept at home. And in the future NOT stay over if he can't handle an alarm, I mean seriously?
Would I be mad if I thought my partner had set the alarm but didn't? YES. Specially if that put my job on the line.
Would I be mad that he claimed to be free for his B-day and then going to hang out with his family without INVITING me along (at least)..? Yes.
YOU need to talk to him, instead of bottling it all up.
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