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The sex in our FWB relationship is bad! How do I tell him?

Tagged as: Friends with Benefits<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 December 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 1 January 2012)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

So my best friend and I are close. But neither of us want a relationship, but we do want an aspect of a relationship. Sex. So we have sex and because as individuals we're just the same. People probably think we date because of how much we hang out and do things together, but there's no attraction other than we have sex. And even then it's just sex. We hook up and go about our day. Just like that. Simple. Anyways, even though we're just having sex and we're such close friends I'm still scared to tell him that the sex isn't good. What's a good way to tell him? He's just not doing anything for me...get it? And I don't wanna hurt his feelings...Help?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2012):

just tell him you don't want to be FWB anymore, but just go back to being regular normal friends without the benefits cos it's "easier" or "less complicated", or because you want to start dating and thus have to be sexually available for that.... (because really there's no "benefits" to speak of if the sex is bad, but you don't have to say this )

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (1 January 2012):

Aunty BimBim agony auntLolling here at the thought of a FWB who is no good at sex. What good is that?

If the sex is no good in your FWB you tell him, thanks but no thanks.

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A female reader, Sugarbuns Australia +, writes (31 December 2011):

Sugarbuns agony auntWhy in the world would you want to have a FWB who's bad in bed? The whole reason you have a FWB is because they are amazing in bed!! Dump him and move on. Trust me he won't notice you're gone. That's the beauty of a FWB it can end without explanation.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (31 December 2011):

person12345 agony auntI'm a bit confused as to what it is you're getting out of this arrangement if the sex is crap. There's no point in having a FWB if the sex isn't awesome. You don't have to confront him and say how much you dislike it, you should tell him what it is you DO like. Guide his hands, when he does things you like say in a sexy way how amazing it feels or moan loudly. If something isn't working for you, say I love it when you do ____.

If you aren't sure what you like, you should find out on your own and then show him what to do.

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