A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay so I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and have always been crazy in love with him. The past while he has become sort of complacent in the relationship and sort of like he is not as into me anymore and i have always tried talking to him about it to try and get it resolved because I wanted him to feel as strongly as I did (he claims he does but doesn't really show it). He is also very busy and we don't spend much time together and i feel its making us grow apart. Well recently my feelings for him have changed and I might know the reason...Aside from being sick and tired of all the above mentioned things, I think i am falling for his best friend (and it may be mutual). Im not sure if this is just a little crush phase that will go away or the real deal. We are also really good friends and have been for a while. I think this has caused my feelings to change towards my bf for sure. I know me and the friend can never be together but do you think its just a phase? Its almost like i have fallen out of love with my bf although i still do really love him (if that makes any sence). I just want to know if theres a way i could fall back IN love with him. Whats your take?
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female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (24 June 2010):
 The "Disney Magic" CAN exist, it just doesn't happen by itself. We have a lot of responsibility in creating it for ourselves.
Yes... act like yourself. If you're holding back, it's hard to blame him for doing the same.
Good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah im sort of torn in a way with how he said that. Part of me agrees with big ron in that its unromantic and lazy but the other part agrees with lolal in that the disney princess mentality is not reality haha. Well i guess ill just try to stop holding myself back from how i want to act more and see how his reaction is and if it starts getting back to normal. If not then i guess we just dont belong together.
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A
female
reader, Lola1 +, writes (23 June 2010):
I agree with big ron... "well done on talking to him".
(winks at big ron)
However, there is nothing wrong with him asking for guidance. So, it doesn't fit with the Disney Princess ideal that "men who really love us know how to make us happy," but then we can't kiss frogs and make them turn into princes either, and we cope with that well enough.
Guide him and if he resists, won't try, "forgets" a lot, THEN you know is is lazy and disinterested. If you can give him some guidance, it's a starting point and he can take it further on his own...
Kudos to him for taking your talk so well. :-)
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys: I actualy sort of had a talk about it with him today (not the part about the friend just the lack of chemistry that i feel)It was really hard to bring up I feel as though i got no where! He says for me to take initiative and try doing the things that I want him to do but I have been!!! I just cant make him understand.
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A
male
reader, mr toyboy  +, writes (23 June 2010):
Try and make him understand that you might be falling out of love with him and with someone else as a result of his attitude, if that doesnt change things, then leave him, but whatever you do, dont do anything with his best buddy.
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