A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:i am 13 years old and when i was younger i was very close to my dad. i looked up to him all the time. But as i've gotten older that relationship seems to have deteriarated. my mum had two more daughters so my dad now has three daughters.i also play football and the only time my dad ever seems interested in me is when i tell him i have a football match on. we hardly even speak any more and i cant remember the last time we had a conversation that lasted more than a minute. as a teenage girl ive started using more hairstyles and clothes than i used to - which could possibly be interpreted as being more "girly". i cant help but think that my dad is in some way dissapointed in me - maybe because im not the son he would have liked?And it hurts me to see him joke and play with my sisters all the time, the way he would have with me when i was young. sometimes he just ignores me when i try to tell him about the new project im doing in ICT or when i ask him how his day was. I have tried to listen to some of his rock music or dress more "boyish" but he doesnt seem to be buying it. I know that dads can sometimes become a little more attached to their daughters during their teenage years but not like this.i find myself trying to impress him by watching the full 90 minutes of a football match which i know i should't have to do because he is my dad. why is this happening?thank you Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2009): hi I am the original author.
Can i just say i have tried to talk to him during a day out bu just asking questions casually etc but he doesn't seem to be responding. I've noticed him joking with my sisters and then about to turn to me and joke but then decide not to.
However today i went to a football tournament and we actually talked---about football. and that's about it.
i've started to think i should just go with it and not bother any more. why should I? i've tried but he doesn't seem to be responding. I should probably just accept it
p.s i dont really want to tell him the truth because i know that'll he'll just look uncomfortable and find any excuse to leave the room.
thank you for advice
A
male
reader, Trias21  +, writes (7 May 2009):
You are very loving and kind girl.
You certainly need all the attention you can get and you need to feel loved by your dad, especially at this age.
He is not giving you enough attention probably because something else occupies his attention, or perhaps he is trying to resolve some problems that are not related to you.
You sounds like active and happy girl and I don't think that your siblings are taking away his attention from you (although it may seem like that sometime).
The only advice I could give - is to be yourself, stay and be loving just like you are and be opened to share and show your love to him.
While it might be a bit difficult time for you now - but you are strong and positive person - so I am sure you'll be happy girl!
...............................
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (7 May 2009):
 We are very bad with the opposite sex. Ask yourself this, you have a son and have to have a heart to heart with him. Do you sit down with him, face to face and talk to him frankly, asking him to tell you what is wrong?
Yes? NO! You do NOT talk to boys that way, it puts them on the spot, they get defensive and want to get out of it as soon as possible. A boy should be talked do while doing some activity and from the side and the questions should be more leading, allowing him to add his own story to yours.
Girls are best approached differently and your father might now know how. How would he?
Talk to him, let him know how you feel. Perhaps there is something you two can do together. Remember, men are not for sitting down and talking, they need something else to keep them busy while they are trying to process what has just been said and think of an answer.
What should a dad do. Let you be free and distance himself from this girl who was his daughter and who is now becoming a woman who is going to be somebodies wife? OR keep a thight contact and tell her just what he thinks of her clothes and boyfriends?
Maybe you two should have a father-daughter day. Just the two of you doing something simple like visiting a zoo. No pressures, just two people with plenty to do besides be forced to talk so the talk if it happens happens naturally.
...............................
A
male
reader, StudentOfLife +, writes (7 May 2009):
 It's good to organize activities with your dad alone. It could be a weekly thing, like a movie, restaurant, walk at the part.
Be honest with him, tell him that you feel that you guys are becoming distant and that you want to reconnect back. Maybe your little sisters are keeping him busy and that he doesn't realize it like you do.
...............................
A
female
reader, baybee-x-sparkii +, writes (7 May 2009):
 Sounds to me like you need some dad and daughter time. Why don't you try and persuade him into doing something YOU want to do and see how he likes it or go out for a week alternating between things you both like to do- this will improve the bond between you again.
I have to say though, it does sound like your trying a bit too hard :S just be yourself darling thats all you can be :)
x
...............................
|
