A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my girlfriend have been together for 3yrs. Weve had our ups and down through the years. I recently found out that she cheated on me by reading a letter in her email account that she wrote to some guy she met and slept with in Los Angeles. The reason I checked her email account was because I felt something was wrong. After she got home from the trip to Los Angeles she was not acting the same at first she seemed normal but, then she started acting really distant from me. I kept asking her what was wrong and she told me nothing. A week went by and she was still acting very distant and unhappy. She then went on a trip with her sorority friends over the weekend. I then whent Into her email account broke her password and found a letter that she has written to a guy she met in LA. The letter stated that she does not regret what she did with this guy and she enjoyed being with him, and that things would not work out between them because she is involved with someone else at this time and that she hopes hes feelings do not get hurt. This letter was not sent to him at the moment that I read it. I then called my girlfriend while she was out on her trip and confronted her about the letter and why she would do such a thing.She said she was unhappy with me and did not intend to sleep with somebody else. She said that things went wrong ever sence my younger brother moved in. Her and my brother had got into it about a year ago while I was out of town playin minor league baseball.My girl friend said that I was not the same person she met and that I changed a soon as my brother moved in. I've been heart broken by her actions. I've also have cheated on my girl friend while playing ball. She does not know but right now im a subject of Carma. I dont know what to do, I told her that I forgive her but she says she needs time off from me. She said that shes tired of worrying about me and she never has time to worry about her self. She said that if this relationship is meant to be then it will be. She also said that she does not need any stress in her life but shes at her last year of school. I want my girlfriend back because she has grown on me and I love her dearly. I just cant see my self with no one else. The reason I forgave her was because I cheated on her too. 2 different times while I was playing ball but she does not know this should I tell her or should I keep this quite. About my brother hes is 16yrs old and in 12th grade of high school. The reason he lives with me is because he was not doing so good in school while living with my mother. Ever since my father past away he has not cared about school. When he moved in with me he started progressing in school and in sports. This is hes last year and is doing very well. The reason he and my exgirl friend got into it is because my brother was not accustome of living the way my girlfriend wanted him to live as far a being clean. I cannot send him back hes almost out of school hes doing well what do you suggest I should do.
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female
reader, auddi  +, writes (3 September 2008):
Ok..
I think you should TALK to your girlfriend and your brother. First, talk to your brother. If he has been doing really well since the time he has started staying with u, u have definitely influenced him in some manner. So I am sure he will understand. Anyway he is old enuf to understand.
Ask him to keep things neater and cleaner the way your gf wants. Not just ur gf, all of us want things to be neat and tidy right? Proabably she is worried about general hygiene and there is nothing wrong in that.
It seems you are really in love with ur gf. Then go ahead an talk to ur gf..Tell her how much you love her. Sometimes women need to be TOLD some things. She will break down for sure if she has anything for u. She will feel bad for having broken your trust. Tell her you are glad she told you she had a prob with you brother. Tell her you have spoken to him and he has promised to keep things neater. Also, since it is his last yr, he would be done in no time. Ask her to bear with the whole thing for more time. Make sure they strike up a good relationship with each other by taking them out for a concert or picnic or something like that.
It was wrong on the part of both of u to have cheated each other! If you are truly in love, you would never like someone else even touch you..So u both need to find out why is it that u were both ok with getting involved with someone else? Is it that you are bored of each other, fallen out of love, or was it something else? What were you both thinking when you all cheated each other? Talk to ur inner selves, you will get the answers.
After you get your ans, tell your gf that you need to tell her something and u are hoping she would forgive you coz you really love her and want the relationsip going. You need to promise her that you will never cheat her again. STAND by this please!! Confess to her...
A
female
reader, x..BabyGirl..x  +, writes (2 September 2008):
 Well I'd end it immediately if I knew my boyfriend had been reading my emails. How would you react if she'd read yours? You need to tell her. You can't keep skeletons like that in your closet when the relationship has to be built on a combination of trust and love. I think you need a sit down talk one to one with your brother. Tell him how she'll be nicer to him and praise him more if he lives by her rules. That's the way it's got to be, it's your's and her house and he's a guest, guests don't make their own rules and I guess she's fed up with picking up the trail he's left. Good luck,x Becky x
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