A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 18 and in love with this girl. She is my best friend. I can tell her anything. We were friends in high school and still are. She loves me too. The problem is that she has a boyfriend. Her and I are very close. We flirt fairly often over the phone and have kissed all while she's been dating him. And, to further complicate things I've recently moved to Oklahoma while she lives in Michigan. We miss each other terribly and we often discuss her coming out to see me and vice versa. There aren't words to say how much she means to me. She's the reason I stopped considering ending it all. I call her "my blessing" I think about her all the time and we talk daily, with very few exceptions. I've been told that it would be smart to consider other people, but I look at and talk to other girls and they just can't compare to her.I'm simply not interested in anyone else. As time goes by, I find myself wanting to be with her more and more in pain. My feelings towards her boyfriend have turned from disinterest to hatred. Mind you he has done nothing to me,not really, and my feelings towards him really are unjustified. I understand how awful I should feel for trying to steal her away, but I love her so much that it stopped bothering me a while ago. And, I know that I can make her happy. Please, I need all the help I can get.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (27 November 2010):
 You realize that in doing this, she is being emotionally unfaithful to her boyfriend. If she loves you like you say she does, she should have left him a long time ago. Otherwise, to lessen the complexity of this situation, you have to let her go. This cannot work if she has a boyfriend.
It does sound like you truly love her but she has to reciprocate those feelings. She has to prove just how immensely she feels about you by breaking up with her boyfriend.
If her boyfriend is good. If he makes her happy and if he is staying loyal to her, only she can decide what to do. Does she love him? If she does, I suggest you let her go and she let you go. Keep away from each other for a while.
If she feels nothing for her boyfriend or at least, not enough to stay loyal, she should leave him and ONLY then will you be able to pursue a relationship with her.
I hope that helps.
A
female
reader, starfairy  +, writes (27 November 2010):
 It's not fair the way either of you have been acting, as she has a boyfriend, but perhaps you should talk to her, tell her exactly how you feel. After all, if her heart is with you, it's not fair to her other half.
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