A
female
age
30-35,
*0V3LiiK3W0AH
writes:Hey Guys , i use to use this site when i was going through hard times when i was in sixth grade and i figure the site will help me out now .I am now in eighth grade and fourteen years of age . I was going out with this guy . We'll call him Ryann . Now the first time we had gone out was for a week and it was after this major break up he had gone though with this girl which we'll name Brenda . I was best friends with him at the time when they were going out and anybody could tell that Ryan was in love . He was in love and i think it was the kind of love that you never get over it . It must be because we had been going out for five or six months and i messed up . Badly . Or at least it seems that way . Ryan had always told me he'd love me forever , but i always thought what all the older people thought . " It's middle school . Who could possibly fall for someone ? Love doesn't' even exist at that age." But now i now the truth . Too bad its too late . You see , i told a guy who we'll call Matt that i had liked him a lot while i was going out with Ryan . Mind you thats the fifth guy i had said that to while dating Ryan , but this time was the last time . Matt confronted Ryan and told him how i had said that i liked him . Of course Ryan broke up with me . For three days he would cuss me out then later spill his heart out to me , but i wasn't stupid . I mean i could tell he was starting to like Brenda again . I ran into them at school talking and passing each other notes . Then i realized something . I messed up . Horribly . I had lost him . And just knowing it i felt something horrible happen to my heart . People say your heart can't break , but i swear it jumped in my throat . I couldn't swallow or eat and i still can't without getting sick . The most horrible thing about it is . . . they go back out . And of course i had to run into them sucking face today . I asked my friend for advice because she had fallen in love with someone before and had to get over them . She said the best thing to do is avoid contact with him . If he trys talking to yuo tell him your busy . Stuff like that . I'm miserable though . I thought i wasn't in love . I swore by it , but now that hes gone for good i can't help but cry . I'll admit i need some advice other than ignoring him . One day i'm just going to go insane and message him telling him everything . I'm a mess . I know he doesn't want me anymore . I know . And thats what huts the most .If you read this please reply to this . I really need some advice . School's tomorrow and seeing them together again just makes me sick . Please and thank you all for your help .Much Love ,Bridget xox
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (6 November 2007):
 The reason your method didn't work:
(1) You're begging, you sound desperate.
(2) You can't guarantee you'll be the best, because you don't have anything to compare it too.
(3) The last sentence is a sign of abnormal attachment. If I disappoint you in any way, say the relationship will be prefect, which we all know they are not and it gives him an easy way out. I'm disappointed, see ya.
It also contradicts #2. Like saying, I guarantee this but I don't guarantee this because there is a possibility it may not work out.
I know this has been hard for you. Now here is an exercise for you to do. I want you to take 60 seconds, sit down and talk to the wall or pillow or something. Pretend it is Ryan, Now if he came to you and said I give you 60 seconds to tell me WHY I should choose you over this other person, what would you say? This is very difficult, because it takes the "needy" emotion out of it, and replaces your comments with real reasons he'd benefit by being with you.
No one likes desperation, but people would consider making a change if they had a real reason too.
I hope this helps you. Take care.
A
female
reader, L0V3LiiK3W0AH +, writes (6 November 2007):
L0V3LiiK3W0AH is verified as being by the original poster of the question
Me : Well i swear if you just gave me one last chance . One i would be the greatest girlfriend you could ever ask for . I swear ryan . Seriously .. And if i disappoint you in anyway you can spit in my face and hate my living guts . Even kill me .
Ryan : i love brenda.
As you can see were not getting back together .. I gave it a shot , but i guess i'll start movingg on .
Thanks for your help though , really .
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (5 November 2007):
Bridget:
Love is great, but there's also the side that hurts. Regret, guilt, painful experiences. Tell whoever says you can't be in love their full of crap. It falls on the same lines as women mature faster than men. They also develop real adult relationship emotions at an earlier age.
Send him a text message. Don't go off, and see insane. This is what I would say:
"Ryan: I know we're not together, I don't want to interfere with your relationship, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry. You use to say I love you, and I believed when people said we can't be in love at this age, but not having you, I now know they are wrong. I treasure our friendship, and know we'll always be, and if there is every a chance we can try again, I'll give you 100% of me."
I was just writing that as a note. I reread it and I guess being a songwriter, rhyming just happens. lol
I do wish you the best. It's hard to loose a love, no matter how it's lost. I hope you guys reconnect, if you do come on here and give us an update. Take care. I hope this helps.
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