A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Right, ok i need help and quick!! I've never been one to want a bf, liked being single etc until i met this lad in my class now for the past 5 months its gone from a patheic crush to a lot more. I always thought he liked me an so did a friend of mine but now he finally knows as my mate talked to him and he said he didn't have feelings for me. Its just i have quite a bit of trouble with people in the class like they pick on me and he's always seemed different which is what made my mate ask but he seemed to know when he asked and said he didn't treat me like dirt because he likes to treat everyone equally + hes religious and he doesn't have feelings for me so this obviously crossed his mind because he seemed to assume what my mate was trying to say even though at first the msg he sent him never suggested i liked him. The only thing there i can think of is that people in the group had thought he liked me and thats where the signs from them came on but if they ahd accused him of liking me surely the staring and stuff would of stopped! I don't know what do you think? Thing is he always used to stare at me and always has done and a few months ago he showed even stronger feelings and stuff and people in the group have hinted to me before that he likes me, even though none of the group like me and also this mate has said he likes me because of just the way he seems with me, its something how you can just tell that someone lieks someone but you can't describe what it is(so if any of you can describe that id love to know btw) A part of me thinks yeah he is like that because he's religious but deep down he did have feelings for me but denyed it straight away cuz when my mate told him i liked him he sed he's choosin to stay single(which i sorta knew)and with the staring and stuff but i just don't know!! i've never felt this way before and i don't know how i'm gonna get over it because i have to see him everyday and none of us really have any mates outside the class and i've never had that many close mates anyway so it ain't like i can stay away from him and i will still get picked on in general but he was the only reason i managed to put up with it. I don't know what to do i can't even cry anymore i'm that upset i just don't wanna live anymore!! (don't worry i aint suicidal i just can't bare it at all!) and i honestly feel like that. How can i get through this, get over him and get through college without him?? Please help me!! I keep feeling like a part of me has died i don't know what to do!! I'm not gonna remove him off my top mates or anything on websites becasue that would make it obvious but i just don't know what to do or if he brings it up what to say!! Just please help i feel like my lifes ended he's the only person id ever loved!!
View related questions:
crush Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008): hi in reply to tht answer thx for the help, but i have seen the convo this other lad doesnt like me hes just a friend i've seen and known everything thts been said. I donb't think the lad i like knwos about this but he's said he won't tell anyone. Just thought id make that clear before i confuse anyone thanks!!!
A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (4 May 2008):
Hey,
There is a possibility that he does like you, yet he may of felt too shy to tell your friend.
Also have you thoought that maybe the friend who talked to the guy you liked lied to you and said he didnt like you when he actually said he did? maybe this friend who spoke to him for you likes you?
Maybe he does like you but doesnt want to be a in relationship (maybe he wants to focus on study or something) so he doesnt see the point in saying his feelings for you?
I think maybe you could try talking to him face to face about all of this. That way you can judge his response for yourself. Dont rely on what other people are telling you.
You shoudlnt be putting up with the bullying either by the way. You dont deserve it!!! It shoudlnt be tollerated. You may find this website useful-
http://www.reachout.com.au/default.asp?ti=319
You need to put a stop to the bullying as soon as you can, as the longer it goes on, the worst the effects will be on you. Talk to your mum or dad, a sibling, someone older and experienced, someone you can trust about this and gain some support.
I understand how you feel too. This guy stood up for you when no1 else would! He treated you like you DESERVE to be treated when so many other people treated you badly. So its very understandable that you have grown such feelings for him. Now that you think he doesnt like you, it must feel like someone who means so much to you has been torn away from you? Im sure if hes a decent guy (and he sounds like he is) he will stay friends with you, so atleast you will still have that.
But you know what? Even if it turns out this guy isnt interested in a relationship with you, there will be other guys who come into your life, who will treat you with the respect you deserve and who will love you just as much as you love them!
You sound lke a very nice girl with alot of good qualities and I think any guy would be very lucky to habe you in his life.
So dont give up hope, you will find someone great, it just might not be the right time at the moment.
If you need to talk, feel free to PM me :)
...............................
A
female
reader, Pandora15  +, writes (4 May 2008):
God brings me right back to school days.First of all, from now on don't send your mate to tell someone that you like them. It makes it appear as you don't have enough confidence to ask them out yourself and makes them think negatively of you. Either way, he told you that he didn't have feelings for you. Remember that as that is key to this whole situation as what comes next may be something fairly negative coming about. You see, I know what it's like being teased in school and it's wretched, but I think someone is playing you wrong and trying to make you go after him again only to be publicly embarrassed.It's a game that some groups of friends play to go after the people they think aren't great enough on the popularity scale. The eye connection could be that you were staring at him, and he noticed. It could also be that he knows what your friends are doing, or it could be that he's interested in you as a friend. Just staring doesn't mean a guy is interested, but it may mean that you can find a friend in him.I know it feels like love and there's no doubt in the world that you may cry, but listen to his first answer and don't let other people play games with you. I had a similar experience when I was in school and was completely head over for this guy named Kenneth. I eventually got the guts to tell him, and he didn't answer me back, smiled and just went on his way. I eventually went to a school dance with him (so I thought oh my he likes me!!) and later on confronted him only to find out he didn't like me that way at all. I was crushed! I thought he was the last one I'd ever love.You in all likelihood won't find the guy you want in school. I thought they were love each time I had them, until finally I learned what love is. What a wonderful thing too! True loves don't play games, mesh with your weaknesses and strengths, care about what you say and think, love you despite everything and just connect in a way that defies logic. It's not usually a strike of oh he's cute, that brings on love. Good relationships come from friendship, and I wish I had avoided the rush after the nice cute guy in school and just concentrated on finding some friends. Male friends can lead to relationships, but don't rush it. Become friends with some guys and see where it leads you. They aren't another species! Oh and how to know a guy likes you. Watch how he positions his body, if he points towards you in a conversation that's a clue. If he goes out of his way to talk to you, (meaning run across a crowded hall away from his class room when he sees you just to talk to you, carries your books to class that he isn't even in), listens intently to everything you say, teases and flirts with you, and when you catch him staring, blushes and either looks away or winks at you.
...............................
|
