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female
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anonymous
writes: Should I give my ex another chance of stick with "the new guy?" I broke up with my ex boyfriend in Jan after living together for 3 years. I started dating another guy a month later. I really like the other guy and its obvious he likes me, but my ex wants to get back together and I still love him. I have tried writing down the pro and cons of both, but can't get anywhere. The new guy excites me, but I am comfortable with my ex. I am afraid I am going to make the wrong choice. I'm now depressed and can't take the pressure anymore. HELP!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2006): You say you broke up with your ex in January after having lived together for three years.
Then just one month later you began seeing someone new. Now your ex wants to get back with you.
No wonder you're feeling depressed and pressured!
Usually when a relationship ends - particularly such a lengthy one as yours was - it is normal and wise to take some time to adjust to being "single" again. You need to think about the break-up and mull over in your mind what it was that caused it. You need to see what you can learn from the experience, and get some clarification about what you want, and what you don't want, in a new relationship.
Do you think you are dating the new man the rebound?
Does your ex know about the new guy, and perhaps is jealous? If so, could it be that that's why he wants you back?
Or does he know nothing about your new boyfriend?
You said you feel comfortable with your ex, yet, there must have been problems that led to ending it with him. Do you think, seriously, that both of you would be able to resolve those issues if you were to take up with him once again?
If you fear making the wrong choice, it would be better to give yourself more time. Perhaps not see either of them for a while so's you can try to clear your head.
Deciding while you feel the way you do would be a mistake, and not really fair to either you or them! Because, you'd be acting under pressure - even if you yourself are the one imposing the pressure! You don't say that THEY are trying to force a decision. But if either one of them is, then its all the more important for YOU to back off, for your own sanity!!
Good luck, and write again if you need to.
A
male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (4 October 2006):
 Well every new relationship or friendship is exciting but at the end of the day what do you want? Do you want excitement or do you want love. Excitement you can find at an amusement park or a scary movie but love isn't something you find everyday. amerthyst0202 states that you leave the past in the past. For her that might work and with most but the fact is no one can ever forget that love and memories they share with someone special. Its ultimately your choice but what happens when the excitement is gone and the new feeling is gone. You are then left with the reality that you chose fun over forever and you and you alone have to live with that. You can leave that past in the past.
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A
female
reader, amerthyst0202  +, writes (4 October 2006):
 What is the past leave in the past why did you split in the first place if it didnt work last time what makes you think it will this time and comfy is an old pair of slippers.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2006): STay with your ex... He loves you so much. You guys have been through so much together. You both just need to learn how to fall in love with each other again. This new guy excites you because you don't know him. The mystery and all that. Really do you want to have to build up a new relatuionship when the one you have is beautiful but just needs repaired... Be careful tho. Your ex might not want you back now...
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