A
female
age
36-40,
*eedy2016
writes:How would I deal with my mother in law? She abondoned my husband as a baby. My husband had a very difficult times as a child. When we got married about 8 years ago my husband had built a relationship with her and we do see her on mother's day. We do not normally spend time together as she has her own family. However she often asked for money when she struggles. Her family are starting to come to our lives and they want us to commit to their functions. I do feel comfortable around them. They act like they have raised my husband and I can see my husband is falling for them. I understand that they are related but my question is that why are they start coming now but not when my husband was small. They even call and tell me to come to family function because we are family. I feel like they are trying to control us. I told my husband and he seemed ok with it. We moved to a different country and life is hard when we struggle to make a living. Few months after we arrived once my mother in law got our phone number she started calling for money. My parents neither the people that raised my husband never call us for money but she does. Now she is visiting her son and closer to us. My husband would love for us to be at their family function but I don't want to go because they are people I am not comfortable with. My husband insist that I come with him for we have been invited. I'm stressingt out and have lost my appetite because I don't want to go.
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female
reader, Needy2016 +, writes (29 October 2016):
Needy2016 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a lot. I really appreciate your prompt response to my complicated situation
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 October 2016):
 It seems extreme to leave him. Do you not feel you can trust him not to allow her to use him!? Am sure you can tell him your worries and ask him not to give his mother money she keeps asking for.
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A
female
reader, Needy2016 +, writes (28 October 2016):
Needy2016 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a lot for your wonderful feedback. I appreciate it a lot. I totally understand the fact that she's the biological Mum and I can never separate the bond between them. I'm concerned that she not only come for the relationship but she wants more especially money. Since we got married all she's ever called for is money. I am confused doesn't she know the pain she has caused. All I understand that she is trying to abuse the love we are showing her. I might just leave the person I love because I cannot be part of this drama.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (28 October 2016):
If you don't want to go then don't. But try and remember that even though they did not rear your husband they are still his biological family. I can't imagine how hard it must be for him. His head must be all over the place. He probably does not know what to do.
But it does sound like he wants to get to know them more. If it was me I would want to be by his side supporting him. He had a tough childhood maybe he needs this to help him understand his biological family. Can you not put aside your feelings to allow him to get to know them?
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