A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:how do you help someone you love that seems depressed?im in a LDR at the moment with my boyfriend and whenever we talk on the phone etc he can be lovely and cheerful one minute but if i say one thing wrong or something he doesnt like he will get annoyed and irritable? (he hates it when i talk about his friedns with him, any ideas why? because i thought they might help to make him feel better but when i mention them he says to basically shut up. ive asked why its a problem, and he says he doesnt know)epspecially when i try to cheer him up or say he sounds better today or that im proud of the things hes doing? (he is currently out of work but really working hard to find a job)he will sometimes mock what i say, or say things like 'have you got anything interesting to say' when he is irritated?i love him dearly, but I'm struggling to know how to help, i've said if he needs anything i am there, and i mean it but im lost. I'm worried that the more i try, the more he will hate me in the end? what should i do?
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male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (18 January 2013):
You can't treat his depression, that's up to him and his doctor.
Do you guys have a specific plan to move closer together? Why subject yourself to this if it's not for a reason? An LDR only makes sense if you've had a chance to develop feelings PRIOR to it becoming an LDR, and you're temporarily separated with a plan to reunite.
Also, you should know that depression can be hereditary, meaning your children may be like this.
I'm only mentioning these things because I'm not seeing the positive side for you here.
A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (18 January 2013):
 Hi
You sound great, a really sweet girl. He sounds like he's a bit depressed,plus has a really bad attitude, especially toward you.
Has his GP told him he has depression and is he being treated for it?
I know its hard and gets you down if your not working but he shouldn't be taking it out on you.
Maybe if his friends have jobs and you also, he feels left out.Maybe he wants to treat you,buy new clothes etc and can't afford it.Does he keep busy, do voluntary work or is he alone mostly?
How often do you see each other ? Could you surprise him with a visit?
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