A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Being the only Asian girl in a small Midwestern town, I got picked on a lot while I was growing up. It didn’t help that I was small, mousy-looking and extremely shy. I also had a bad case of buck teeth and had to wear these huge, hideous looking glasses that I really hated. The kids would constantly pick on me and call me names and I would just sit there all by myself crying. I remember one time in Kindergarten the teacher got so fed up with my constant crying disrupting the class that she locked me in the storage room until I finally stopped. This caused me to be permanently branded all throughout elementary school as the kids gathered together to taunt me. But there was this one boy in my class, whom we’ll call “Alex,” who was always really nice to me for whatever reason. He never teased me or picked on me like the other kids and would always come and sit by me at lunch so I didn’t have to sit alone. Despite my being shy, he always had a way of getting me to come out of my shell and he didn’t really care what the other kids thought about us being friends, even when they would tease him about being my “boyfriend.” He was very cute and very sweet and I instantly fell head over heels in love with him. Whenever the kids in school would make fun of me and tell me how ugly I was Alex would always make me feel better by telling me how beautiful I was to him, which would make my heart soar. He would also always tell me how much he loved my long silky hair, so I would beg my mother to let me keep it long for him.Over time the two of us even began spending time together outside of school. My parents were just thrilled that I actually had a friend. I remember when we were little I would sometimes talk him into playing house with me where I’d be the mommy and he’d be the daddy and the whole time I’d sit there daydreaming about what it would be like if we were really married. Of course, he had no idea how I really felt about him.By the time we got to high school Alex was already a very handsome, charming and witty young man, so he never had any trouble picking up girls. They were practically tripping over themselves to be with him. By then I was more like his nerdy little sidekick always tagging along behind him all lovelorn and secretly jealous of his conquests. Even though he saw me as more of a little sister than as something to be desired like I secretly longed for him to, I still took pride in the fact that I was his best friend in the whole world and the only person that he felt comfortable enough to confide all of his deepest, darkest secrets to. I also loved that he would sometimes ditch whatever girl it was that he was dating at the time just to come hang out with me. As a matter of fact, he even turned down his own girlfriend in order to be my date to the Senior Prom just so I wouldn’t have to go alone, which eventually led to them breaking up. That night was the most wonderful night of my life. It brought tears to my eyes when he showed up at my house to pick me up and told me how beautiful I looked in my dress. After high school I purposely applied to the same college as Alex just because, as much as it embarrasses me to admit it, I don’t know what I’d do without him. He’s always been there for me through the good times and the bad and I’m not sure if I could make it on my own. Not yet, at least. So far college hasn’t been all that much different than high school. Alex is still as handsome, charismatic and popular with the ladies as he ever was and I’m still just his loyal side kick who constantly tags along behind him like a lost little puppy. Or so I thought. After what happened a few weeks ago, I’m not so sure. We’re both sophomores in college now and Alex is currently dating this girl that I absolutely can’t stand and who doesn’t seem to like me anymore than I like her. About two weeks ago I was up late studying when one of his buddies called me from his phone and told me that they were at this party and he was way too drunk to drive home and needed a ride. Apparently he didn’t want his girlfriend to find out about it, so I agreed to come and pick him up. I have to admit it was pretty funny to see him completely trashed as his buddies helped him into the passenger seat of my car. On the ride home he just sang and laughed and talked the usual drunken nonsense until we finally made it back to his dorm where I parked out front and asked him if he needed any help making it up to his room. He just kind of looked at me and said, “I really love you, you know that?”I just kind of blushed and laughed. “Yeah, I know,” I told him, rolling my eyes.“No, I mean it,” he said to me, “You’ve always been my favorite person in the whole world. I just want you to know that.” I blushed even harder. “Whatever,” I said with a nervous laugh. “You’re just drunk.” No sooner had I spoken than he suddenly surprised me by reaching over and gently stroking my cheek with his hand.“I just wish you could see yourself the way I see you. I wish you could see how beautiful and wonderful you are and how much you really mean to me and always have.” I didn’t know what to say, I was so nervous. Then, before I even knew what was happening he leaned over and started kissing me. I didn’t know how to react, so I just let him continue as I followed his lead. I had never been kissed before and even though this wasn’t exactly how I had always dreamed my first kiss would be, who was I to complain? I had been waiting for him to kiss me for as long as I could remember, I definitely wasn’t going to stop him now. Sure, maybe part of me felt a little guilty because I knew he had a girlfriend and by allowing him to continue I might have been taking advantage of the fact that he wasn’t exactly in his right mind, but I’d been dreaming about this moment since we were kids. Besides, I always hated that bitch anyway.He gently slipped his tongue into my mouth and I felt tingles run all over my body. I couldn’t believe this was really happening. As we sat there making out he slowly started to feel me up. I had never been more nervous in my life. No one had ever touched me like that, especially not him. It was exhilarating. Despite my nervousness, I definitely didn’t want him to stop. As we continued his hands slowly made their way up to my breasts as he began to gently caress them. Once again part of me insisted that maybe I should stop him before we both regretted it, but at that moment I was totally ready to give up my virginity to him right then and there whether he was in his right mind or not. Then suddenly out of nowhere he just stopped and pulled away from me. “I’m so sorry,” he apologized as if finally coming to his senses. “I have no idea what I’m doing.”He started to open the car door, so I grabbed his arm and told him it was alright, he could stay. While the whole time my mind was busy screaming, NO! DON’T STOP! NOT NOW, DAMN IT! But he just pulled away from me and climbed out of the car. “I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?” he said as he stumbled off to his dorm. I couldn’t believe it. He just left me sitting there like that all horny and frustrated, wondering what the hell just happened. I didn’t know what to think. Did I do something wrong?The next day when he finally called me I was hoping for some kind of explanation for what had happened between us the night before, but instead what I got was a slew of questions. Apparently, he didn’t remember a single thing that had happened all night beyond a certain point. So after waking up in his dorm room with no memory of how he got there and being unable to find his car he had called his buddy to find out how he had managed to make it home the night before. After his buddy told him that I had driven him home, he decided to call me and not only thank me but to apologize just in case he had done anything stupid or made an ass of himself in any way. I didn’t know what to tell him. I was completely heart broken. All morning I had been looking forward to the possibility of him finally opening up to me and discussing any hidden feelings that he might have buried deep down inside only to discover that he didn’t remember a single damn thing that had happened the night before. And as if that weren’t bad enough, the final gut wrenching turn of the knife came when he actually invited me to come and have dinner with him and his bitch of a girlfriend later on that evening as a way of thanking me for getting him home safely. So the question is what do I do now? Do I tell him all about what happened between us in the car that night and risk possibly destroying our friendship or do I just sit back in misery knowing that there’s a slight chance that he might actually feel the same way that I do as I watch him go off and live happily ever after with some other woman that I just can’t stand?
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best friend, breasts, drunk, horny, jealous, kissing, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (19 October 2013):
 I think you should tell him what happened, and if the cues are right, tell him about your feelings while making it clear you don't want to jeopardize your existing friendship.
It will be sad if he is not interested, but you'll never forgive yourself for not trying, and what's happened has given you as good a chance to talk about it as you'll get.
Wish you all the very best.
A
female
reader, Miss.Cupid +, writes (17 October 2013):
 "a drunk mind speaks a sober heart" he may have been drunk and he may have apologized but I think what happened in the car between you two is very true, and I believe he has feelings for you as well. what I would do if I were you is to just get him alone, asked if he remembers anything in the car, and just simply tell him you guys kissed, that you like him and have lived him since forever ago. Its always best to tell someone how you feel, then to never say it at all. You never know, maybe he feels the same exact way. Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (17 October 2013):
 Its time you tell him how you feel, or regret it when he ends up with someone else.
You have nothing to lose, so stop lying to him and yourself that you are his best friend.
Worst case he is not interested and you can then move on and stop crushing over someone that you cannot have. This is unhealthy and you will never find love and happiness if you don't move on or hopefully be with him the way you want.
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