A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating a man who is 50..I am 44..We both have children..He has a 23 year old married daughter whom he is very close with..I have not met her but have been looking forward to it..He and I are just getting to know more about each other..We have had a few problems bettween us we have had to work out..He has told his daughter about our problems and asked her advice on more than one occassion..This makes me very uncomfortable as I feel that our relationship problems should be bettween him and I..I feel there should be some kind of boundary there..Is that unreasonable for me to think or expect?..Plus as I said I havent even met her yet and I would rather her form an opinion of me after meeting me instead of forming it from being involved in the middle of our problems..I appreciate any constructive input on this..Am I asking to much..or being unreasonable? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 July 2010):
 Hi.
I think it's a great thing that he has a female whom he can ask questions, advice, talk to about his relationship. Him getting a female perspective is helpful, even if it's from his daughter. (rather her then, let's say, his ex wife?)
She will form her own opinion of you, but it may be based of her talk with her dad. I think that is pretty normal. If she is a smart rational girl, she will understand that every couple will have disagreements, it doesn't make 1 person bad or wrong.
So all in all I would not be upset about it. I think it rather shows that he cares about his daughter AND you.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, blackice10  +, writes (11 July 2010):
 hi, i think it's great your partner sees you as that serious that he confides in his daughter and so should you, i mean i would be flattered. And you don't mention whether he had been on his own with her for a long time before he met you, but as a former single parent i can say it's jurt a case of, us versus the world and that's why. He's close to her and tht's great as it demonstrates his ability for close relationships. He obviously wants to please you or he wouldn't be asking her advice ! She is old enough to not judge you or form an opinion based on that. I would not be worried at all hope this helps xx
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