A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm worried that I am in a dead end relationship. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years. Our relationship moved very fast at the beginning and we have been living together for over a year now. He is planning to buy a house in the spring and he has made it clear that he wants me to live in the house, but have nothing to do with ownership. He has also made it clear that he is nowhere near marriage or any other sort of commitment. He recently inherited quite a bit of money but is keeping the amount a secret, even from me. I am feeling as though we are on completely different pages and the last thing I want is a lifetime boyfriend who is stringing me along...what to do?!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2008): That's weird. I like guys who share everything with me but of course I share everything with them too. He is selfish. And he does not want to make you a complete part of his life.
Has your relationship always been this way? And are you like this with him too? Or if the shoe was on the other foot would you do things differently?
If so, it just sounds like you two are definitely on a totally different page. I think its time to move on. You can do better.
A
female
reader, Lily Moll +, writes (5 February 2008):
Sounds like he wants a girlfriend for life, or at least on his terms. But relationship isn't just about what is right for one person; you have to consider your own feelings, too. He's grown-up enough to buy a house, but not to buy an engagement ring? I mean, jeez, people can get engaged and wait to set a date-- you could stay engaged for years, but at least you'd know both parties were serious about marriage. You say that you moved fast at first, and it sounds like you might be regretting moving in together so quickly. You could take this opportunity of him moving to a house to move into your own place. Let him know you just felt things were moving too fast, and that you're not comfortable continuing a live-in situation with no promise of commitment. Otherwise, he's got the milk AND the cow, all in a stable HE owns. What more could he ask for?
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (5 February 2008):
 If he is serious with you , he should put both your names on the ownership of the house.
If he does not , then he has some ulterior motives.
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