A
female
age
41-50,
*issy530
writes:Hi I am a 33 year old female I feel like I am in my prime. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 yrs now he is 27. We do not have any children together but I do have 2 boys 11 and 16. We have custody of them every other week. Within the past year or so there has been lil intimacy I'm not just referring to sex but just any kind of touching or cuddling while watching a movie. Ever since day one when we got together he as this obsession with porn anal porn. I understand curiosity but obsessed to the point that its almost as if he has no sex drive. I have done my part and fulfilling that curiosity and have no problem pleasing him in that way that's not the issue the issue is I feel like an old couple in our 70's. For a while I thought it was me I was not turning him I'm on but I am over that. I am fun like toys experimenting hell I even suggested watching it with him but he was not fond of that idea. He sneaks to watch anal porn. He acts like "oh no I don't watch porn its been months" I honestly don't even think he gets any kind of erection watching it anymore. Should I assume maybe he is bi, gay, what. He says it isn't me and to be honest with u ths all started when I stopped using Meth I am not ashamed unfortunately he still does. Can someone tell me what the problem is here. Is he desensitized, do I have to be a twacked out sleaze, is it his guilt what someone help me. I do not push him away at all by mentioning it to him cuz I already know it can pressure a guy and its bad enuff I only get it once every 3 weeks mind u it lasts for maybe 5 min but hell I am not complaining.
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erection, porn, sex drive Reply to this Question
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (15 February 2014):
 It figures. Meth is surely not known for its wonderful long term effects on sex life...
Aren't you familiar with the expression " crystal dick " ? Where do you think it comes from ?... yeah, excatly, THOSE crystals.
They don't have invented it to signify that meth is a big libido and performance buster, I'd say....
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2014): "Ever since day one when we got together he as this obsession with porn anal porn."
I would of been gone by this point. Did you know at the beginning?
Yes he has been desensitised. With regular porn use after a while nothing can beat the high stimulus it gives the viewer. Real women become boring to them. It causes erectile dysfunction and delayed ejaculation, delayed ejaculation is not as good as it sounds because as well as that the guy is likely to have a failing erection so it's like having sex with a limp penis.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (15 February 2014):
 Well he's not only addicted to meth but also to porn. I say it's an addiction because he's hiding it from you, and it's affecting his day to day life and his relationship with you. And yes, porn addiction does have a significant effect on real-life sex.
I don't think he's necessarily gay or bi, but has a fixation on anal sex. And I don't think that's unusual for heavy porn users. Comparing it to to meth use, he has to get more of a stimulus to get the high/ erection/ 'get off' on it.
To be very blunt with you, this man doesn't sound like a good role model for your children. Personally, I would prioritise that over your unsatisfying sex life and lack of intimacy. Plus, you're off the meth (a huge achievement), and staying with someone who is still using will undermine your efforts to stay clean.
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A
female
reader, missy530 +, writes (14 February 2014):
missy530 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI understand that addiction is far far worse than any intimacy issue. He is working on getting into a rehab at the moment. My real question is due to the drug use and the constant porn viewing is it possible for him to have loss his sex drive or possibly be desensitized
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2014): Of course it's meth. You should be worrying about that nt his sex drive. Meth is terrible thing, very addictive and health destroying. I tuink your sex life is much less important than his addiction, seriously!!
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