A
male
age
41-50,
*oronto
writes: Hi my wife went to her parents home in December for an interview.After the interview she could not come back because she was waiting for the results.She later decided to stay there with out telling me the reason.l did not bother asking her when she is coming back because the parents always want her there.My in -laws might be involved because she changed her mind and stayed there until now.The reason is that she is pointing out our problems we used to have before she went there.The parents are not happy that l married her because lm poor,they want her to go out side the country to UK.I dont know how to solve this.THE MAJOR PROBLEM IS THAT THE INLAWS ARE INTERFERING WITH MY AFFAIRS ALWAYS Pleae help me..Thank you.Bo
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female
reader, Melanne +, writes (5 April 2007):
It sounds as though your worried that your wife is keeping things from you as you say she stayed at your inlaws and didn't give a reason. It seems there is a lack of trust and you couldn't ask her when she was coming back because her parents wanted her there.
Are your in laws influencing her decision about you? Are they making her think that you are not good enough for her? If this is so and she is listening to the advice given by her parents she cannot really love you in the way she says she does. If she loves you completely nothing that her parents say will make a difference.
It sounds as if things haven't been right in the marriage for a while and it doesn't help with the interference from the in laws. You really need to talk with her. Sit her down and ask her whether she wants the marriage to work. Tell her your feelings and how insecure you feel about this. If it helps you could write her a letter with all your feelings in. She needs to know that you are her husband and she cannot go to her in laws every time there is a problem. You are married and that means you need to work through problems and discuss them. My bet is that you got together relatively young when you were not really ready for the comittment and now you are having trouble because of this.
What you really need to know is if she still wants to be with you. The sooner you talk it through the better.
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