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Shes pretty high maintenance, Am I a fool for putting up with this ?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 April 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 5 April 2007)
A male United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

My situ :

seperated - 2 children : 7 and 12

New girlfriend -

always acusing me of looking at other women when i dont.

always asks questions wot other women like when im at work.

always thinks i am bedding the ex when i access children once a week.

says supports me see my kids but moans when i do (they not ready meet her yet)

always wants me to get to her immediatly - not even spend time have cup of tea when i get in from work, just shower and get out in 10 mins or complains

yet :

she has daughter i get on with and do lods for

she goes out 4 lunch with male boss

she emails raunchy stuff guys at work

she goes out girly nights out where she has gone back to blokes house and sat in lounge while mate upstairs in bed with stranger (she does tell me this stuff to be honest.

when we 1st went out was not serious and she pulled other men for sex and told me next day

Now we official and she doesnt do this (i do believe her there).

She had rough past relationships and bin mistreated.

I do love her.

Am i a fool?

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A female reader, SusieQ1970 United Kingdom +, writes (5 April 2007):

Sounds like she one set of rules for you and a different set for herself. Have you tried talking to her about this? My belief is that to have a successful and fulfilling relationship you should both set yourself some ground rules and both agree to apply them to your relationship. Having your own views and opinions is equally important so long as your partner accepts you for the person who are and isn't trying to change you.

You must both accept that each had a past, you both had love in your life before your current relationship. She sounds as if she is a little insecure in the relationship and perhaps you could talk to her about this, ask her what you might be able to do to help her feel more secure.

Wish you luck.

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A male reader, Dagwood South Africa +, writes (5 April 2007):

Dagwood agony auntHi mate. Sorry to say this but it sounds like she's self centred, insecure and suffering from low self esteem. Her treating you like this is obviously not going to make you happy so you should have a good chat to her about it. Tell her what your expectations (in the relationship) are and ask her what she's after in the long term. Good relationships are based on common expectations, trust, respect and intimacy. When all of these conditions combine and make you both happy they lead to a long lasting love. If you're not on the same wavelength from the start and she refuses to see it both ways AND you're feeling like a fool then I'd say you should break up. It will be hard but of course it all depends on what you're looking for, only you can decide if you want to put up with it! Hope this helps. Take care.

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