A
female
age
30-35,
*eeka1001
writes:My husband and I have recently been having some issues with our sex lives. Basically what it boils down to is that I am not very sexually driven, and I have lost a lot of my original desire for him (out of the honeymoon phase if you will) and he can totally pick up on that when we are in bed. We both have self esteem issues which have presented themselves in bed so that hasn't helped make the whole thing run smoother either. We've also become very routine with our sex making so it isn't much fun.Basically, I need help making sex become appealing and fun again. Any suggestions on how to do that? Or personal stories of similar situations that you worked out of? Anything is helpful at this point! Thanks :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2015): You'll have to work on your self-esteem issues first. You're married, and intimacy is a large party of how you express your affection for each other. You're very young people, and unless you derive personal-pleasure from having sex; your participation will be forced and mechanical.
If you're not sexually-driven; what kind of advice are you expecting? You're not particularly interested in sex with your own husband.
Deal with your self-esteem issues and get them under control. Explain what it is that is affecting your self-esteem.
It sounds like marriage was a rushed decision, and maybe you're not really in-love with your husband. I doubt it is something as simple as being past the honeymoon phase. You don't have any desire for your husband. Perhaps you were never really attracted to him. You don't just suddenly lose it; unless he's just terrible in bed, or you agreed to marriage without having any real feelings for him.
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