A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating this guy for 2 months and we see each other a couple of times a week, we always have a great time together, the sex is good, he is very physically affectionate, romantic, kind and seems very keen. Has introduced me to all his friends etc. I like him.However, I've noticed that whilst he is all of the above things, he doesn't verbally express *anything* to me that's remotely emotional or even say nice things about me/the relationship. E.g. he hasn't told me how he feels about me, has never complimented me.... He wouldn't even say "I really enjoyed this evening with you" it would just be "that was fun" or something much less personal. All of our conversations are light-hearted and on a surface level. He expresses that he likes me through his actions more than his words (and he is physically affectionate) so that's good but I'm getting NOTHING from him verbally.I'm not sure if he's just scared and it will take time or if its just the way he is (unemotional?)?? But I feel like I need some kind of verbal reassurance in order to feel close to him - at the moment I feel detached. I don't think I'm a needy person, I'm just not sure what's stopping him at least expressing his feelings for me, I give him the chance to by saying nice things to him (albeit in a subtle way as I'm now actively holding back because of the way he is) - but I get nothing back. I know I should just talk to him about it but its not an easy conversation to have, and I don't want to make out like he has a problem, make him feel pressured to say things that he doesn't feel comfortable saying yet. I'm not sure if I should wait or just let it go... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2012): He may just not be very comfortable expressing his feelings. I would wait for up to two months, and if there's still nada, initiate a conversation with him. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2012): What does he do when he isn't with you - his 'time-off' from the 2 nights with you? Does he see you weekends or week nights or does it vary?
He doesn't sound committed but then he's introduced you to his friends.. think you need to ask if it's going to develop, you need to know after 2 months
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2012): I think the fact you are on a set schedule (2x per week) and none of the gradual increase in spending time together, he just wants an arm's length kind of relationship where he is assured sex. No official boyfriend and girlfriend, no committment, and no really getting to know one another. He may even be slotting other women in or just doesn't want anything serious.
All you can do is ask if he is looking for a relationship and act on what his answer is. Don't fall for the "I just want to take it slow" or "We'll see where things go" garbage. Your giving him your body and emotions so you have a right to know.
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A
male
reader, jamespike  +, writes (24 February 2012):
This is a tough one. It seems his actions are saying one thing but he's not communicating well. The fact that he introduced you to his friends is a good sign as he's not hiding you and is involving you in his life. How is he with his family? Are they reserved or openly affectionate. Honestly some people just take longer to open up then others. Its a lot easier for me personally to show your love than toactually say it. I say if your enjoying your time together let it go for another 4 weeks. Either he will get more comfortable with you and start to express himself or he won't. If he hasn't improved ts time for a serious heart to heart.
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