A
female
age
36-40,
*aveycee
writes: Dear Cupid,HELP! My life is a bit of insanity right now. Currently, I am in a rocky long term relationship. On top of that I thought I had liked someone else. Well, I started talking to this other person via the net and realized that I don’t really like him at all. I just liked the fantasy of what I thought he would be like, not who he really was. We had lied and played a bunch of games with each other via the net. It seemed pretty apparent that once we had left the website we were chatting on, that neither one of us really cared about each other.However, now he is harassing me via the net. He is saying all kinds of horrible things about me, that are not all true. Every time I go to another website, he keeps showing up there. I know the answer is to avoid the internet for a bit until I am in the clear again, however I really don’t feel like I should have to avoid the internet, I pay for it, so I want to use it. Is there anything else you can suggest to help, because I am just looking to move on with my life.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (26 June 2007):
If the guy continues to do what he is doing or gets worse then contact the police rather than suffer anymore. I do understand why you have said you aren't contacting the police.
xxxxx
A
female
reader, daveycee +, writes (26 June 2007):
daveycee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks, I am not going to contact the police, I dont want to take it that far.
It sounds like my only option is to stear clear of the net for a bit until things settle down.
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A
female
reader, stina +, writes (26 June 2007):
PS - If/when you call the police, make sure that you have all of the info you've gathered in front of you - ip addresses, dates, names he's been using, emails, phone numbers, and anything else. (Before I contacted the police about my stalker, I made sure to collect enough evidence so he would basically incriminate himself.)
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A
female
reader, stina +, writes (26 June 2007):
Hi there Davey,
I had a stalker a few years back and ended up calling the police. They created a case number and took all my info - I kept recoreds of EVERYTHING he wrote to me or wrote about me and sent it to them. They asked me to write one last email to him with the info they provided and the contact number of the investigator who was working on my case. Then, they contacted him and let him know that they would be arresting him if he were to contact me in any way. (They knew where lived because of his ip addresses and other various methods - since ips can be changed or hidden). Anyway, the harassment stopped because he knew that I wasn't one to take any crap. You have to stand up for yourself and protect yourself in these instances.
If you don't want to contact the police, then make sure if you have any accounts like myspace, livejournal, hi5, etc are private. Get rid of any people on your account that you do not personally know. If you still hear from this person, print out everything that is said to you or about you. Also save copies of everything on your computer itself. Make back-up discs, as well. Since this is someone that you only know from the internet, you do not know what this person is really capable of.
Hope this helps!
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A
female
reader, dragonette +, writes (26 June 2007):
How does he find you on all the other websites? Are you always using the same username? Like if you use DaveyCee on every website where you need a username, how about changing it to something else? That should make it harder for him to find you.
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