A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've met a guy on a dating site and have been dating him for a month now. Things are going pretty well and we've been seeing each other several times a week. I've slept at his place a few times, met some of his friends and I really like him (he's 33/I'm 31). A couple days ago the subject came up about our relationship and he told me that he still wanted to go on dates with other women and keep his options open. He likes me, he thinks I am smart and attractive but he's not sure about me and still wants to meet people. He rushed into his last relationship and broke up 3 months ago and is worried he would be doing the same mistake again. He told me that he's ultimately looking for a LTR and marriage. I've been divorced for 2 yrs and although i am not in such a rush I do want to have kids one day too.So anyway the thing is that I have no desire to meet other guys right now other than him. So I am not sure how to react to this. I don't want to let him go but i don't know if I can handle this situation. He has been on only one date since meeting me. What should I do? I've never been in a non-exclusive relationship before.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2010): I don't agree with the posts about sleeping with him too soon. Too many times people think there's supposed to be some set time when it's okay to sleep with a guy and sticking to this chase game. If you feel it, he feels it, it's what you want, go for it. Sometimes it works...sometimes it won't. My husband and I were intimate within a month and inseparateable since the day we met (married 7 years). It's strictly an individual call on that.
You guy has been very direct and honest with you about this and now you have to decide if it's something you want to be a part of. You have to be just as direct and honest with him about how you feel about it...just like you've posted here. As hard as it is, you might have to walk away so you can be true to yourself and open yourself up to receive what you really want for yourself. Tell him this isn't something you feel comfortable with doing and can't be with him under these circumstances. Then move on. I honestly know how hard that can be but you have to do that. If he doesn't want to lose you, he will come around and those "maybe" women he has met and yet to meet won't even matter anymore.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2010): Well, at least he's honest and not cheating behind your back. If he won't be exclusive to you, well.... I guess you have to find someone else who WILL. You haven't known each other long enough for you to make any concessions... he either WILL, or he WON'T. Since he won't, you have to move on.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2010): I don't believe you can meet anyone real to have a relationship with online! There are too many opportunites and too many sites and too much secrecy to ever ever make it work!
That being said, I also agree that you slept with him too soon. Don't feel bad, it is a womens perogative as much as a mans!
Yes, I have done the same as you and yes I have read those books. If you are looking into someone to have a long term relationship with - get off the internet dating sites and read the book - Deal Breakers. Which tells you what to be aware of.
Best of luck to you - I do agree to get rid of this one - Dont get roped into the comfort of you as a back-up.
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A
female
reader, SillyB +, writes (25 September 2010):
 You slept too soon with him, he didn't get to chase you and appreciate what he ha, so he's ready to move on.
Now the way he's leading you on is a big red flag. End this right now, there is no hope in 'convincing' him to fall in love with you.
Read these two books "why men marry bitches" and "He's just not that into you". Great book, fun reads and will prevent alot of grief in the future.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (25 September 2010):
 This is completely up to you how you deal with this. He has been honest with you so its your choice if you go along with this or not. If you can handle this situation then fair play to you i know i couldnt. To be honest if i were you i would sit down with him and tell him that either you'se are in a relationship together or not. If he still wants to keep going on dates with other people then maybe it would be best to get rid of him and find another man thats willing to settle down.
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