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female
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*atianaT
writes: Hi. I will put everything in paragraphs so its easier to understand.-I have recently separated from my boyfriend of 2 years. A guy at work has caught my eye since I started there a year ago but because I was in a relationship at the time I never pursued anything. -This guy (let's call him Andy) lives with a female (platonic) friend (Lisa) who also works where we work. -When I invited them both over to my house one time earlier for a get to gether, Lisa asked me if my man was going to be there. I thought this a bit strange but as he wasn't going to be I said no. Anyway, they didn't end up coming due to circumstances but I was told that Andy had really wanted to come over (and was saying as much at work) but something had happened with Lisa and as they live quite a distance away from work (around 45 min -1hr)and take one car to work they had had to go home.-Now, my problem is this. I am now available and I do really want to get to know Andy better. He is quite shy and I have been told by a male friend that he has been checking me out a bit when my back was turned (but you can't believe everything). -I have noticed recently that he has been chatting to me more in ways of saying hello and small chat but it all seems really strained on his part. - He has also phoned up work on two separate occasions on the weekend when I was on shift to ask about one of his clients or work related stuff. This also seems really strained and he sounds like he doesn't know what to say. It's uncomfortable but I'm not sure if this is just how I'm feeling.-When I speak to him I make and hold eye contact and he doesn't look away - usually I look away first. THis I feel isn't always a good sign to go by because some people just make eye contact when they speak regardless. I haven't really noticed anything else too much. -I've been told he's shy but he isn't the sort of guy to socialise a lot (he is star sign cancer) so its kind of difficult to get to know him in anyway apart from work. -One thing I forgot to mention. A friend of mine is at the moment working closely with him and she has told me that at times he will say that she sounds like me or she does something the way I do it. Don't know if this is anything but thought I would add it in.-My problem is getting past the awkward conversations we keep having. We don't really talk ,Ii guess we banter backwards and forwards. Muck around moreso, and when we got stuck in the car by ourselves we ended up getting into this stupid debate about work related stuff that really by the end of it was making no sense at all.- I'm not the sort of girl to take the lead and pursue the guy - guys have always done that to me. The one and only time I ever did the asking with a guy ended up in disaster so I have come to the conclusion that the guy should take the lead. - However I'm not sure if he's even interested in me and I hope what I have said can help you answer with an outsider's view. It's a little awkard too because we work together so I don't want to say something and then have to see him everyday if I end up making a fool of myself.-I feel at the moment like I am in a schoolyard again and I'm not really liking it too much (I'm in my early twenties, he is in his late twenties). Unfortunately I have never had to deal with a shy guy in which I was actually interested in so I don't know how to go about things.I would appreciate an outsider view on this because it is quite confusing and frustrating to me. Thank you! And I hope I've made sense!
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female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (20 August 2005):
 LOL. HOney just go and ask the guy to go for drinks with you after work or something...that is the only way to find out for sure if he likes you. These little games are very frustrating to both people. Have fun..be assertive not forward. Drinks is not a marriage proposal. It can't hurt any to do that...Best of Luck....ana
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