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female
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*nthelight
writes: There is this guy at work. He is one of those rare, nice looking, amazing personality guys. I have noticed lately that he looks at me differently. When I walk in a room, he is looking at me, when he walks past my desk, he stares, smiles or sometimes nearly dislocates he neck looking the other way. He has a girfriend at work. I think she has noticed this and keeps drawing me the most awful looks. Help me as I really am interested in him!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2005): All the time he is in another relationship you and him are off limits and youve gotta put the whole thing out of your head....i can understand that you really like him and he may like you too but you all work together and this could get very nasty and arkward and you dont want to work in an inviroment in this way if he really likes you in the way you think he does then give him time to firstly leave reltionship one and secondly give himself time to lay that relationship to rest dont be stuck as the girl that was used to sort his feelings out if the relationship he is in needs a revamp.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2005): He has a girlfriend. And yes, he probably does like you. But that doesn’t change the fact that he’s in a relationship right now and off the market. The way I see it, this is his problem, not yours but if you allow something to happen between him and you-you will have a huge problem-his gf won't be happy, will she? Right now-you’re the one receiving his attention and flirtation that he’s obviously not giving his girlfriend. And while this may seem great and wonderful for you, in reality, it’s not. Because while you’re getting smiled at and flirted with, guess what-he’s going home to her, not you.
I have to ask "why' you would want to hurt this woman by so blatantly taking her bf away? What does that say about you, as a person? My best advice to you is to remove yourself from this situation. Because right now you’re growing feelings for someone who is both emotionally and physically unavailable, not to mention, the last thing you want or need is to be tossed in the middle of a highly emotionally charged triangle. Dear, t’s not a good situation to be in. And remember, you still have to work with these people.
So take a step back, and leave this guy alone. Pursuing a relationship with him right now is self-defeating, self-serving and you may end up being the biggest loser here. You have to wonder what kind of guy is he to ause this type of emotional pain to his gf. And what's not to say, he won't do it to you someday, should you succeed and get him away from her. Think that you'll trust him?? I really don't think so, dear. He's a player and always will be a player. Ignore his flirtatious looks and go find a great guy who is available and would never think of hurting others just to get what "he" wants.
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female
reader, not again +, writes (15 October 2005):
If this guy is interested in you, then do you really want to be with him if he is obviously willing to cheat with you on his girlfriend? (unless he breaks up with her first?). I believe that nothing great or beautiful can be born out of hurting others. But hey, maybe you guys are destined to be together? In which case keep being nice to the guy and if things are meant to be they will be.
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reader, pops +, writes (15 October 2005):
If you start anything with him, you will incur the wrathe of the other woman. However, knowing this, if you are interested in him, give him a note telling him you would like to get to know him better, and ask him if the two of you could have coffee sometime. Or whatever. Keep the first meeting short, and simple. Its just friend getting to know each other better. That way, if you don't feel any chemistry, you can end it and still be nice to each other on the job. Be discreet. There is no sense rubbing the other woman's nose in the fact that her " boyfriend" has a roving eye. Leave her dignity unchallenged, and you will not make more trouble for yourself than the situation is worth.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2005): I'd be really careful here as he just might be trying to make his girlfriend jealous and probably has a sneaky feeling you like him. Why not arrange a works night out and happen to get chatting to him (and if she's there include the gf too in chats) You'll be able to tell if he wants to take it further or if he only making her jealous. Also if it does work out, make sure he has finished with her first, let a decent amount of time pass before seeing him as a bf as you all work together it could be difficult. Best of luck x
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