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anonymous
writes: My girlfriend of 4 years and I broke up last Sunday night, we had been talking about it for awhile because we both thought prehaps we should 'see what else is out there' as I'm 21 and she is 20. The thing is, I want her back! I have spoken to her a few times and she has told me that as much as it hurts her and as much as she wants to get back together, she needs to take this time to see if she was with me for the right reasons or not and too see what it is like being single....She said that we wont get back together for the next few months, this kills me! I know i want to be with her and no one else, I cant stop thinking about her. She said she still wants to hang out together though, as friends but I dont think I can be just friends.Should I just cool it and give her a couple of months and then call her and see if she wants to try things again, or should I try and win her back now? or do you think I should just leave it and let her come back to me? I'm so confused and in so much pain.
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reader, pops +, writes (15 October 2005):
Cool it. You are both too young to know what you want. There would be something seriously wrong with you if you DIDN'T miss her. YOu have been seeing her for 4 years, since you were 17, after all. She does need to find out how lucky she was, and frankly, you need to gain a perspective. Go out with other women while she is making up her mind. Be nice to her, and be her friend, if you can. She may come to the realization that what she has in you is much better than risking losing you on the chance she can find someone as good. And, its always possible that you may find someone else that treats you better than your gf. Don't miss such an opportunity at your age. You don't want to live your life wishing that you had dated more, traveled more, seen more people, experienced different cultures, etc. That tears you up, and ruins any relationship you may be in. So, get it out of your system so that you can make a real choice of choosing each other. Then get back together.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2005): You are both still quite young for a really serious relationship. I don't doubt your feelings for her but you could give her a few months of me time. As then it will give her a chance to see what she is missing. Also I wouldn't be so eager to hang out as friends, if she calls you for a chat then of course chat but dont make a date and don't always seem too available ie say your going out with friends that night. Then she'ss believe you are moving on and will see what she is missing but use this time apart to be sure it is what you want too and don't mope about, go out with friends. After the few months is up, you might want to meet for a chat and get it together again but if not you won't have wasted your time. Hope this helps. Good luck x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2005): Hi, I think you should leave her to get on with it,give her some time,pressuring her will only push her away,if she really loves you she will come back to you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2005): i know how much it hurts when you break up with the one you love,but the fact that she said she didnt want to try things yet and wants to see whats out there is no harm at all ive seen it happen to alot of people i know she may realise that you are the one but just give her time,dont keep forcing her back or you might drive her away and by reading your question i know you dont want that to happen,but remember one thing ye are only young and it is a big world out there and you never know strange things might happen you could find someone else,dont set yourself on one person as much as it hurts,think about it,and if you and your ex do get back together then you 2 were meant to be together,good luck!
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