A
male
age
36-40,
*harger
writes:Hello I've been seeing this girl for a couple weeks now but not officially together. So she has a guy friend she's known for about 15 years and he just told her he had feelings about the same time me and her started talking. She seemed like she really liked me and has told that guy she was kinda seeing me but his ex got on his facebook last night and blew up the girl I'm kinda seeing on Facebook like calling her names and stuff cause she said she found out that the girl I'm seeing messaged the guy saying she wants to snuggle him and stuff and said she felt sorry for me cause I didn't know what I was getting myself into with her. The ex message me telling all this stuff last night and stuff. So the girl I'm seeing is not sure if she has feelings for her friend or not. So basically how should I handle this? Like me and her aren't officially together but I really do like her and she likes me but she said she hasn't done anything with him but is not sure if she wants to be with him. She said we can see other ppl while we're not official. There's more to the story but my brain is kinda not working right lol and sorry if all this makes sense. But basically I'm kinda seeing a girl who's best guy friend recently told her he has feelings for his and his most recent ex talked crap to the girl I'm kinda seeing that's how I found out about him liking the girl I'm seeing and see seems like she is kinda seeing him too I guess but still wants things with us she says she is confused. I'd really like any advice please.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (10 August 2012):
 No I think you just need to give her some time, if she wants to talk to you she will contact you. She has made it clear by not writing back to your messages that she needs some space right now and I think that's the best thing you can give her.
A
male
reader, Charger +, writes (5 August 2012):
Charger is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo I get the give her space thing and I will it's just I'm used to us messaging each other everyday all day basically. She said her feelings have never changed about me like she still thinks in great. I just can't believe how I kept pushing the stuff instead of just leaving it. So I was a bit insecure and worried a bit is there a way I can show her the positive in me like how great i still am? I asked if we were not talking anymore and she said she never said that so I guess that's good but after she said that I sent a few text and she never replied. She still is my Facebook friend so is there any way that can help me?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (4 August 2012):
Yes I do believe that you are a nice guy, but at the end of the day you saying he is not a good match for her is going to be a biased opinion considering you want to be with her yourself. My best advice for you right now is to not contact her. Give her some time to think things through, if you keep contacting her you will push her away, as you already found out, so for now just give yourself some time to sort your head out and she will contact you if she wants to, but please do not get your hopes up.
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A
male
reader, Charger +, writes (4 August 2012):
Charger is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah she said she liked him. I think I pushed her into his arms even more cause of how I acted the last couple days. Now she is ignoring me it seems right now cause I kept pushing I also acted a bit insecure. I regret how I acted and just want to fix things. I talked to the guy friend of hers that night when his ex said that stuff he doesn't seem like a good match for her. I still really like her and just want opinions on how to change things to my favor. I truly am a nice guy and she knew that. So any more suggestions would be helpful.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (4 August 2012):
If I am honest with you, which I am going to be, I think you will lose to this guy. He has been in her life for 15 years, which is a long time, and not only that but I think she actually might like him as well. She is just unsure about what she wants at the moment. She is not making it official with you in case things get serious between her and her friend, that is the way I see it, she was not honest with you and didn't tell you she was sort of seeing someone else as well until his ex got involved. I would just be careful here if I was you that you do not get hurt, because that is the way it is looking to go if you get to involved with this girl.
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