A
male
age
36-40,
*rancedRhythmEar
writes:Ill bring this to the board I guess...Im strugglin maintaining and sometimes even getting wood in the bedroom. It doesnt matter if its a woman who desires me or not I fave the issue. My thing is this I feel that if I do not look a certain way and have a certain size wood and know how to properly have sex with a woman (im insecure about experience cause i.lost my virginity late) I do not deserve to be in the same bedroom as her esp if she is attractive. Ill admit some of these issues may stem from porn watching and perhaps lack of positive feedback about my skills in the two relationships ive had. Then again when i get random text messages asking right away how hung i am that has an effect too. I only attempt sex with prostitutes as its my form of punishment for years of failing to attract women with my.mind or body. Some good news is ive gone to great lengths to.improve my.physique for women n my new looks are a form of great.confidence when i go out. I approach women easily now and can get numbers no problem. Its the bedroom I need to get sorted Any Ive attempted sex therapy with no progress but have recently looked into hypnosis. My current solution is to.continue to work very hard to improve my physique so that I feel like its logically right for me to be with a woman sexually. Most have a profile and I will fit it so far its helped but im not finished adapting otherwise theneed to pay for sex would disappear n i would be hookin up with more women i casually meet otherwise. Im quite serious about all this despite how silly i may seem. Any advice is well appreciated. Thank you.
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erection, insecure, porn, prostitute, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar +, writes (6 August 2012):
TrancedRhythmEar is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you.
A
male
reader, Daniel the love doctor  +, writes (3 August 2012):
 I agree with many things that Candid Cally has said and suggested. And it's possible that your erectile dysfunction problem may be occurring for various reasons. But I believe this entire problem is a mental one... especially with you noting your lack of confidence in the bedroom. But my advice to you, first, would be to see a Urologist to make sure that there is no medical issue. If your problem is more mental (which as I stated, I believe it is), then Hypnosis may or may not work... but it doesn't hurt to try. But I think what's more important than that right now is to consult with a therapist (then later another sex therapist) to help you sort through all of your issues that you have, and help you figure out what may be the best solution to handle your problem.
And having sex with prostitutes is not only not safe, but you're only limiting your sexual experiences with just them. You may choose to date around, but whatever you ultimately decide to do... PLEASE use a condom. And when you're ready to to find the right woman, focus on making great sexual experiences with her. YOU ARE capable of doing so. And just know that when you become more accustomed to her and her body, you're sexual dysfunction may not only decrease... it may even become non-existent.
Here is some additional reading that may be of benefit for you....
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/guys-what-to-do-if-youre-suffering-from.html
By the way, I know that you've been focused on having a great physique, but there are exercises you can do as well to help strengthen your erection. Send me a message if you would like more information regarding that.
Best Wishes!
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A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (3 August 2012):
Are you looking for a long term relationship with a woman, or are you just looking for women to hook up with?
What are your goals when it comes to the type of relationship you desire with a woman?
Finally, i think sex therapy didn't work for you because your problem is not sexual. Your sexual problems are a symptom of something else. Your feelings of physical, sexual, and overall inadequacy stem from a series of extremely negative occurrances. Something in your past (parents, family, someone you trusted, or even your peers) hurt, bullied or mistreated you for so long that you either never developed confidence in yourself, or you were made to feel so ashamed of yourself that, to this day, you only see your flaws. Until you address your real reasons for lacking overall confidence, it will hold you back in life (in all areas, not just sex).
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