A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Okay where do I begin... I recently met this girl about 1 month ago she is very kind, beautiful and has feelings for me, she says she eventually wants to be more than friends and that she likes me. I looked her up on fb, being a former cop and turns out she is engaged to her best friend. She has plenaty of photos of them kissing, her bf is a girl in case your wondering.I'm just not sure what I should do with this ? I don't want to come in between 2 people ! Nor do I want to cause someone to break up with someone else ?I feel she should have told me she was in a committed relationship :(
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best friend, engaged, has a girlfriend, kissing Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (19 October 2016):
Talk to her face to face and see what she has to say could be many reasons.
She could just be pretending over social media.
She could be looking for a sperm donor.
She could be in an open relationship.
She could be wanting a three some.
Best bet ask her and see what she says.
A
male
reader, 11muds11 +, writes (19 October 2016):
Make sure you get all the information. Check to make sure that she just didn't update her facebook page, or one of her friends doesn't like you.
Straight up, without a big confrontation, just ask her. You'll know if she's trying to give excuses. I've seen situations much bigger than this be nothing but trying to keep an old boyfriend away. As a police officer, you know, you can't assume anything.
Hope this helps
Good luck
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (19 October 2016):
She's lied to you about some thing massive after 1 month.
I'd be swerving this one immediately.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (19 October 2016):
The "reason" which sprang to mind (and which could be totally wrong but was just what I thought of first) is that she is keeping you in the background as a potential sperm donor. As I said, could be completely wrong but it was my first thought.
That aside, she is in a committed relationship. If she is having second thoughts, she needs to free herself before starting another relationship. She is not being fair to her partner or to you.
How could you ever actually trust her if she has lied to you already about something so basic? If you were going out with her in the future, could you feel secure that she was not doing exactly the same behind your back as she is doing behind her current partner's back?
I am with the others. Back away and them to it.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (19 October 2016):
Stay out of this. Move on.
She is engaged. With a girl or with a boy, it does not matter- she is , anyway, engeged. Not free, not available.
Yes, sure she should have told you she is in a committed relationship. But she did not.
And that should tell you just how unreliable and insincere she is - and that you can very well do without her.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (19 October 2016):
I'd just cut the contact and move on.
If she can't be honest about this, how can you trust anything that comes out of her mouth?
So if I were you, I'd stop wasting any more time on her and look elsewhere for a partner.
You did the smart thing in checking her out and now you know. What point is there to keep talking to her? She is just going to lie, lie and lie some more.
Sorry :(
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (19 October 2016):
Either move on or ask her what the deal is. It's possible they're just "Facebook engaged" and are the type of friends that kiss each other. I wouldn't be comfortable with that, though, so I'd politely let her down.
Up to you, but asking may be a good idea.
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