A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am a 15 year old boy with a problem. This is my first time writing my own question on this site. I really like this girl that lives near me. She is only 14 but that is because she is born in December, so we're basically the same age. She is a very pretty girl and she is very, well, "developed" you could say. If you get the picture. She actually looks much older than she is though. I like her sooo much. We work together at a gas station in a small town. Unfortunately, I havnt been able to hang with her in a long time. She has been hanging out with this 19 year old guy lately. Like a lot. After a while I got the idea that they were probably going out despite the fact that I thought he already had a girlfriend. It was just today that I heard from a friend that they had sex the other day. This has just crushed me. I live in a small town so I know it is a reliable source. She also has a difficult family. Her parents are divorced but still live near eachother. Only her mother raises her and she is more concerned with being her friend then her parent. I just don't know what to do. Should I confront her??? Ask if it's true??? Tell her that I really like her, maybe love??? I don't know what to do because she is her important to me. Sorry for all the text, lots of details. Help me
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male
reader, mytwocents  +, writes (17 July 2009):
 This stinks--I know. That happened to me a million times at your age.
But, hopefully you’ve learned a lesson that a lot of guys don’t learn until they’re much older (and some never learn at all): when you like something, you have to act right away. If you think a girl is cute, chances are that a dozen guys have thought the same thing, that same day. If you think a girl is GORGEOUS, chances are that twice that many guys are pursuing that girl in one way or another, at any given moment. I'd hate to put in these terms, but that's how it is.
Even though she’s already been with a guy, that doesn’t mean that you can’t try to “beat” him out, so to speak. Press the envelope on your existing friendship with her, making it obvious that you’re interested (not just as a friend). Maybe she’s dated this guy and isn’t really that impressed. Go big. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Get ready that for the rest of your life, pretty girls will always have an abundance of guys chasing them around. Most of them will be like you are right now--hesitant and entirely too late. Others will be like your 19-year-old “rival,” quick to act. Chose which type you want to be in.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2009): You can't really confront her because she is not with you. You feelings, are most likely only one sided since she is dating an older guy. You can tell her you like her, but you risk being rejected since she is with another guy.
Also I think one of the worse things anyone can do is to confront someone on a rumor. They will feel offended, whether it's true or not.
I think you will just have to work your way up, try talking to her and getting to know her more. Maybe even suggest to take her out, just to see how close she is with this other guy (if they are official or not)
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