A
male
age
36-40,
*lias me
writes:There is a girl I really like at work we are friendly and slightly flirty but she's completely besotted with this other guy. I hate it because this guy sits right in front I have to see her going up to him talking to him with him for ages and continuously emailing and texting each other while at work. I hate having to watch this all the time, the thing is the guy shes flirting with is an absolute douche. He's engaged with a girl hes been with for 3 years,its public knowledge that hes cheated on his fiancée with other girls at work. He shows off about other girls cheated on his fiancée with, he also goes on about all the "man points" hes going to get when he has with this girl as well. You would think that she would think that wouldnt like him, but she goes on about how great he is.I absolutely hate this situation having to see it right in front of me all the time, part of wants to just tell her about how I think hes an arrogant, egotistical, narcissistic cheating idiot but I dont want to seem jealous or bitter. Its so bad I want to leave because I hate feeling heart broken....What can I do? :(
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male
reader, kenny +, writes (15 August 2013):
 Just think things could have been alot worse, she could have started things up with you, then dumped you for this other guy. Having romantic conections with people in the workplace is never a good idea. Yes its all fun the beginning sneaking around, secret texting, but when/if things go pear shaped things can become very arkward, not just for the pair of you, but for other co-workers too. You then have to see this person everyday, even if you don't want too.
You have not dated this girl, all the pair of you have done is some harmless flirting. I know its hard, but you need to forget about her and move on with your life. I know it does not feel like it now but things will get better, time is a great healer. Get on with your job, your social life, sooner or later you will meet someone else and you will forget all about her.
Good luck
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (15 August 2013):
 There's nothing you can do unfortunately - she knows he's engaged yet still fancies him so that says a lot about her character too, I bet she'd be willing to be one of the girls he has on the side so that's pretty awful of her if you ask me, if you are a nice, decent girl with morals then you would never dream of dating someone who is in a relationship and being a homewrecker.
So I dont think the girl you like is all you make her out to be - no morals, willing to be part of an affair, happy to steal another girls man.....not that great really!
If you are that unhappy at work because of her then just leave, she's not interested in you and probably never will be so unless you get over her and move on yet remaining as colleagues then you are going to have to leave to get out of the situation and help you to move on.
There are plenty more girls out there, I understand you like her but she has never returned the feelings so its not like you have been in a relationship with her and now she's dumped you, this should be easy to get over and to move on from.
You cant change who she has feelings for, it is her choice who she likes so you just have to accept that she is one of those girls that likes to pick the jerks of the world and move on. There are loads of girls out there who want the nice guys that dont cheat, sounds like your girl is just one of those drama addicts who likes to be hurt in order to feel excited about someone.
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