A
male
age
30-35,
*ew to love
writes:Dear Cupid, I have just recently started dating a long time friend (known her two years, dated about a month). I have never been in love, but I feel more for this girl than I have anyone in my whole life. I'm 25 and she's 26 by the way. The problem is that she might be getting a job 9 hours from where we live. I am so scared of losing her. I think it's too early for a long distance relationship to work. So I want to go with her, but I don't know how to approach it. How do I get her to let me come along without scaring her off?
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (24 February 2015):
 I suggest you let her move... and that you and she continue your "relationship" in the context of that distance. IF, over time (let's say, a year or so) you and she decide that you want to become ROMANTICALLY closer, then do so then....
You and she don't need to "jump in" to a living together arrangement before it has a solid basis... especially, considering the complications of one of you moving a great distance....
You're young; take your time...
Good luck...
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 February 2015):
 My son was dating a young lady. Less than one year into their relationship she moved 12 hours away.
He had his job transferred and three months later he followed her.
they are getting married in May and just bought a house.
TALK TO HER.
but be aware you have to make the move for you... not for her.
my husband and i did a year of LDR before he moved to me. he lost his job. it was not fun. Make sure if you move to be with her and you two don't work out you have a plan.
9 hours is a lot but you can drive half way and meet up as needed.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 February 2015):
 I think before Anything you need to sit down and talk. Is it realistic for you to get a job there? Where will you live? And until you have a job HOW will you live?
It IS unrealistic to think SHE will financially take CARE of you, and LIVE with you after ONLY one month ( I do NOT count the time you two have been friends, because FRIENDSHIP and a relationship are two very different things)
You say it's too early to begin a LRD - but not for you to pick up your live and move 9 hours away? Where is the logic in that?
I would LOGICALLY it would make more sense to TALK about having a LDR where the RESULT would be you moving there AT some point when you HAVE a job lined up and a PLACE of your own.
And YES, if you two decide on the LDR (with visits) and you FIND a job there, START out with having YOUR OWN place and continue to DATE.
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